Trapped in my mind

 The life was insupportable, I thought. Too many colors, shapes. Too bright and too dark. Too many words that lie and poorly ones that tell the truth. Too many humans that are actually monsters. But this is not life either. My only corner to hide from all that became my prison without railings. It was at the beginning like a dream in which I was finally happy. The bad thoughts disappeared suddenly, almost saving me from the best dream I ever had until then- to die. Nothing exists here, yet anything that I wished was possible. No lies, real monsters nor even death. I controlled it, or so I thought. I was the God here, however everything was against me in my own world. Death was not it. They would disappear at my single flinch of thought and then reappear, as I wished. Time was in the same spot or passed at light speed, just with the nonverbal wish.  It was happy and in the same time sad. The power I had was maddening. 

It all took control of me. The dream became a nightmare and my only happy dream before, to die, was no more the saving option. It all became overpowering. Death would be the releasing , even in hell, compared to this. Trapped in your own mind- would it be pleasant?

Author's Note

Yeah, I know that my english sucks =)) Anyway, please help me to get better.
Greetz