There is a wind upon the heath dear.

There is a wind upon the heath Dear

Upon it I hear you whisper,

I feel you on and around my skin

A mirage my mind to picture.

 

Your words  so wise within their guise

Your soul and spirit roam free,

I feel your arms wrapped around me

Each time you hear my plea.

 

Freed from the shackles of blight,

Two spirited souls unite,

I would gladly live forever

If I would stay within you tonight.

 

From far across the seeking miles

I feel warmth within your smiles,

Soaring high in the midnight sky

Together life has no trials.

 

Canine pneuma familiar

You crept right under my skin,

Fitting my breath a handmade glove

Like a string to my violin.

Author's Note

This poem was heartfelt for a dear friend, I did do a polished version but I prefer this one. So here it is in its raw state, the way this one was meant to stay.
N.b. A familiar is a animal spirit used in European witchcraft.

Reviews

[Robert Haigh]

If you prefer this version you have every right to stick with it. Your poems are your own children so to speak. A sincere, poetic write. Nicely penned.

[barleygirl]

I love this poem . . . I have felt this way about many who've crossed the rainbow bridge, both 2-legged & 4-legged. I love V4 & every other verse, too! You do a great job of suggesting the mysteries of how we stay connected to people/spirits who are not near us . . . there are dimensions we do not understand & your hints are done in well-crafted imagery for the senses (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Translated from Birdson..]

I always prefer the rough, unfinished versions of things.
The stuff I write is rarely edited.
Like this piece, it retains a rawness and intensity that can be lost.

This has elements of classic English poetry in it (Manley Hopkins etc). I love the considered use of language and structure you have adopted

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you! I prefer to leave things as they originally write themselves too, this did lose its edge when I polished the metering.

[emmajoy]

There's a meld of metered precision with relaxed, loving, peace here. Have read it twice, second time aloud.. and feel a kind of beckoning to stay a while and listen for more.. Would if I could.

That last stanza has a preciousness that lures.. ... quite lovely.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you! I play the violin and the person it was written for is a dog musher, hence the language I chose to use.

[emmajoy]

Ahhh - sweet violin, once learned to perfection. Our sister played too. Whjat a wonderful combination: violin and mushing. Reads like a Concerto for smiling minds!

[Kelly Scheppers]

Utterly enchanting. The title snared me in, and what a surprise it was!

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you, Kelly! The title came from an old gypsy who I sat and talked to as a child, some words he said to me which just stuck with me for the rest of my life!

[Andy Ruffett]

Get under the skin and stay there.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thanks Andy! :-)

[Frieda P]

I don't know how it reads 'polished' as you stated but I really enjoyed this....love that last line, it really brought it all home. Have a great New Year Helen.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you Frieda, happy new year to you too!

[Sami Khalil]

"There is a wind upon the heath Dear

Upon it I hear you whisper,

I feel you on and around my skin

A mirage my mind to picture."

Splendid

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thanks Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).......

[Tassawwur]

I like poetry the way it was first written.I prefer it that way because once it is polished like you said the essence is often lost.Good work.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you! Yes, some are just how they are meant to be originally.
Helen

[SAYED THANGAL]

so nice, I liked the lines, 'from far across the seeking miles, I feel warm with your smile' , it has a far reaching effect in all aspect, well done
sayed thangal

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you, Sayed