Romany Legacy

He wore a ring around his neck

A thong of shabby leather

Sparkling light from the hunter moon

Shone beams of highland heather

This amulet of gold hung down

A backdrop of weathered skin

Gifted from his dying mother

Charmed heirloom from his kin

 

“This ring is for your one true love

You will know just where she stands

You will see her radiant soul

And will take her silken hand.

You'll know, my son the time is ripe

For you to release this ring

You will feel it deep down inside

When your heart begins to sing”

 

This gypsy man he sang and danced

Traveled hard through miles of towns

He kissed and loved the ladies

And left them each half a crown.

His vardo home upon the heath

Of the bracken and the gorse

Onward plodding his faithful cob

His nose it plotted his course

 

With faithful friend the wind in his hair

Absorbed in whistle and song

He rides along without a care

Seeks the next traveling throng.

The road is long and time drags slow

He tires of feeling alone

Just odd vagabonds and freak shows

Which he meets along the droves

 

“Whoa there boy!” he ups and shouts

She stands there his true love fair

Waiting there with radiant pout

Falling curls of russet hair

He looks into the lure of her eyes
kneels in the mud and breathes 

“I've been waiting for you my bride"

"Come! You belong right by my side”

 

Kindred spirits they dissapear

On through open hills and leas

United after all the years

Could not calm and set him free

No longer does he need to roam

All those cities and the towns

Contented they bought a cabin

With what he saved in half a crowns!

Author's Note

A throng or thongging is the thinly cut leather they use for jewellery making
A Vado is a romany gypsy caravan.
Half Crown is an Old English currency.
I still work on this one, now and again re-visiting the metering!

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

On the third reading, Helen now, with your alterations, but I must point out a couple of things. Should it be 'his' faithful cob in line 23. I notice you follow a standard rhyming pattern for the first three verses, but then it begins to change. You begin to rhyme the odd as well as the even lines, and there's nothing wrong with that, but at the end of verse four, you finish with a rhyming couplet, 'show/alone/shows/roads'. (Not an exact rhyme, but close enough). In verse five, the first four lines are standard alternating rhymes, but the second four are 'eyes/guise/bride/side', two couplets. In the final verse you lose it altogether with 'ride/leas/years/down' before reverting to 'flee/towns/with/crowns'. It's almost as if you're trying to rhyme 'flee' with 'leas', then 'down' with 'towns' and 'crowns'. If so, your fourth and fifth lines are out of place. Not being too picky here, but the second and fourth line non-rhyme really stands out. Have a play with it, lol.

[TrimarcoRansome]

The lines you point out are the ones I keep changing, I will get i right [or better] if it kills me!!

[Zahra]

Exquisite imagery, beautiful

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you!

[Ken Simm.]

I see this more as a song. Certainly to be vocal rather than read silently.It has that cadence.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you, Ken. I understand that, I have been reading aloud when editing and moving words around

[Rick Puetter]

A very beautiful poem. I am impressed. HIgh marks.

Best regards,

Rick

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you, Rick. My work is getting better I believe!

[Tai Ryens]

A marriage between two restless souls, how intriguingly romantic.. well done.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you , I'm pleased you enjoyed it

[Laughing-Bear]

My Dear Writing Friend,
I liked this write, it is a thought provoking word tapestry painted with colorful words that sparked my imagination and caused me to muse before my fire. I likened it to a meal for my pneuma to be relished before my fire with hot tea in hand and my pipe, well done.

Blessings, Laughing-Bear

[TrimarcoRansome]

Why thank you for your kind words, So glad you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.
Helen

[Sami Khalil]

A great gypsy romantic story-type poem. I think the correct term is Romany like the title say. If I'm not mistaken the Gypsies migrated long time ago from Gujarat , India or they were expelled and never returned back. In Arabic they call them ( Ghajar people ) from Ghujarat , India...A splendid one...:)

[TrimarcoRansome]

That's interesting, maybe another one about the migration and consequent victimization of these free spirits is due ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Good . I might have inspired something in your heart...You are welcome...:)

[Marie]

This is a lovely story of gypsy love...why would you change it around?

[TrimarcoRansome]

I have been working on meter and rhyme, that is the part which is changing not the story itself. Thank you for your review

[Distantview123]

A romantic narrative, and an entertaining one, also. The old-fashioned Gypsy caravan is a romantic emblem in itself, I always thought. Nicely done. ~ Robert.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Yes, there is a romantic notion which is firmly seated within Romany tales and images. Thank you for your review

[Lydia Shutter]

You are an excellent story teller. The imagery throughout the poem was exceptional. Romance flowed through the poem and I felt I knew the main character. Loved the happy ending. Lydi**

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you for your kind words, the one element of writing I really enjoy is creating characters, so I pleased you felt that way.
Helen

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

I really enjoyed the progression here... you tied it all together very well and the conclusion has impact, excellent write.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you for the review, I am still messing with this one!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I see... please do send the RR when you feel its finished.

[TrimarcoRansome]

My art lecturer once said to me when never completely happy with my work "Helen the day you create your perfect piece it is time to lay your tools down!" So i guess seeking perfection in a piece no matter what your medium is all path of the chase...

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Very true.