Furby Nightmare

This was a nightmare I had several years ago and wrote down before I forgot. Yes, it is very strange and yes, it does not make sense.

 It was dark, it was wet, and I was completely surrounded. The smell emanating from the vile creatures around me was absolutely revolting. I could feel the bile rise in the back of my throat, cold sweat dripped down over each delicate vertebrae.

They were small, some monochromatic, others displaying multicolored fur. Their eyes were big and bulbous, stiff eyelids blinking over non-moving pupils. They stared at me, a garbled form of gibberish spouted from round beaks positioned directly below those glassy eyes. Furry ears twitched in time to the rhythm of their blink. Plush orange feet poke out from beneath furry stomachs.

I spun around in a slow circle, sizing up my enemy. The smell of overripe bananas wafted over my senses, causing my stomach to churn even more.

The first one, black and white striped, waddled toward me. I could feel the blood in my veins turn to sludge. They had me corned fifty to one. How was I to get past these awful smelling fur balls? There, several feet behind the mob hidden in the corner was a door. My only escape route.

The creature growled at me, or at least tried to and barked a strange command. The mass of fur lunged at me; a strange mechanical murmur began to rise. I quickly rolled out of the way as the wave of fur, beak, and feet crashed to the ground where I had stood only a second before.

Not bothering to contemplate what was going to happen next, I dashed to the door, grabbed the door knob and nearly yanked my arm right out of its socket. The door was locked! How could this be? Was I to be forever trapped in this dark room, endlessly chased by fruity smelling fur balls?! I took a second to glance back at the mass of fur and beak. I could feel the blood drain from my face as my heart began to palpitate sporadically.

They were regrouping, becoming the massive wave of beak, fur, and feet. It sounded like they were chanting; monotonous mechanical voices filled the room. I was never going to get out of here. My fate was to die in this room of banana-smelling, beak-bearing fur-balls.

It was at this time that irony slapped me in the face with a cold, slimy fish. Literally. A humanoid figure dressed in white with big black lettering “IRONY” waddled out of the door beside me. You know the one that was originally locked?

So there I stood, staring at this"this thing holding what appears to be a dead Tuna, all the while the sickeningly sweet smelling mass of fur balls continued to come together. What the freaking hell was going on? I had woken up in this near black room, banana smelling fur-balls surrounding me and some jackass in a white costume holding a dead tuna! I must be losing my freaking mind!

Irony grabbed my arm and pulled me in a through the door. What I saw in the next room made me want to fall to my knees and cry. Irony had pulled me into a labyrinth, a junkyard labyrinth to be precise. Cars piled upon cars piled upon cars. All sorts of odds and ends from old microwaves to broken video games littered the places few and far between. I was stuck in a living nightmare.

Irony led me down a frail and rusty staircase that sounded like it was ready to collapse at any given moment. I made sure to take my time. The thought of impalement by rusty stairs doesn’t quite appeal to me. When I had finally gotten down the stairs, Irony stood there waiting for me, the dead fish still clutched in its hand.

“So…where do I go now?” I asked it. As if it could talk…the thing didn't even have a mouth!

Irony looked at me and slowly, so slowly, a wide, toothy grin appeared on its face. Those bright pearly whites had to be some so the sharpest looking teeth I had ever laid mine eyes upon; sharper still with them grinning at me like a crazed lunatic.

I diverted my eyes from its grin, little tingles scurrying up my spine. I shivered, trying to get rid of that feeling when BAM! Irony nailed me in the back of the head with its dead-who-knows-how-long Tuna.

“What the hell is your problem?!” I rubbed the back of my head, grimacing as I smeared dead fish slime into my hair. “You have problems.” I glared. “Some damn serious problems.”

Irony just smacked me in the face again and pointed at the entrance to the junkyard labyrinth, its Tuna flopping to the side slightly. I just glared at it once more before I started into the confusing maze of junk. All the while my mind was pondering just what in the hell was wrong with me. Had I gone just utterly insane?!

Author's Note

I don't expect anyone to review this or even look at it. It's just that weird. Feel free to give your input on this wacky piece. And no, I don't remember what I ate the night before I had this dream.