trouble

trouble

A Story by CrashDavis47

The moaning of the wind seemed to grow louder as rob made his way to the front door. It was time, he knew it and so did they.  This was her fault! Women always seemed to cause rob grief. How could he have known she was married? With no ring and the steady flow of f**k me eye’s she had been sending his way, everything seemed peachy. In retrospect that should have been the first red flag, nothing was ever that easy. Not where rob was concerned. None of this had crossed his mind as he had made his way over to her. 

          The party raged all around as rob left the kitchen and headed straight toward her. Gorgeous, that’s a word that didn’t completely fail at describing her. Dark hair was splayed about slender shoulders, a golden tan graced her skin and dark eyes watched him.  She was only a few feet away but the walk seemed to take hours, each step like pulling his feet out of mud, slow and difficult. Rob was sure he must look ridiculous. On a normal day he would have simply walked past her but there was something about the way she looked at him. Her eyes seemed to sparkle he neared.   “hello.” He croaked through his dry mouth “I saw you from over there and I had to come introduce myself, my names rob.”  A slight smile teased the corners of her mouth as she began to speak. “Rob huh? I like that name. I’ve been waiting for you to come over for a while.”  Each word flowed smoothly out as she took his hand.  Rob managed to stutter a reply “ oh… well good thing I came over then. I didn’t catch your name.”  Her laughter rang out almost musical in sound. Robs cheeks colored glancing around sure that everyone knew he was making an a*s of himself. “Rob your cute. You can call me Christina.”  Christina the name fit at least Rob thought so. Gripping his hand a bit more firmly she looked him in the eye and asked “would you like to have a drink with me rob? Perhaps somewhere more private.” He was nodding before Christina finished speaking. Smiling she began to lead him toward the nearest vacant room.

© 2010 CrashDavis47


Author's Note

CrashDavis47
i want to write a short story soi started this the other day but had to stop. just want to see if people feel its worth continuing or whether i should scrap it and move on.

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Reviews

I liked the characters. Cute story.
I think this ones biggest area of improvement is capitalization and paragraph format.
Whenever someone speaks, you need to begin a new paragraph.
Don't scrap this. Write more too it.
-Ashes
100/100

Posted 14 Years Ago


I liked how short your story is. You did a very good job describing the characters.I would like to read more.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Yes...it was just getting interesting. We want to read more!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Well you grabbed me lol, i wanna know what happens next, but keep them in short bursts like this, more people will read

Posted 14 Years Ago


you should totally continue this! i was hooked the entire time. Fanastic description, by the way! :) Thanks for sharing

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

PS- if you do continue, read-request me :)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on November 24, 2010
Last Updated on November 24, 2010

Author

CrashDavis47
CrashDavis47

denver, CO



About
Im an aspiring author, what i want to do in life is write novels. Im trying to take a serious go at this so please comment and critique my writing. anything to help me be a better writer is welcome more..

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