Day of Night

There's something in the air today.

It's not fun, it's not light, not filled with the giggling of children and rustling of costumes that characterised the second last night. It isn't lit by the glow of paper lanterns and burning pumpkins, or sweetened by wafting scent of candy. It simply sits, floating, slithering, spreading, weaving between gathered families and solitary figures and idle passersby alike.

It makes me remember. Remember warm days and passionate nights, bright mornings and soft smiles. Remember hopes, dreams, possibilities.

"...never thought I'd be this happy..."
    "...will you marry me?..."
         "...think I've finally found my place..."
              "...I love you..."
                   "...don't ever let anything change us, please..."
                        "...forever."

And, just for a second, it makes me forget. Just for a second it wipes from my mind the memories of cold hospital waiting rooms and empty reassurances. It banishes, however temporarily, the ever-present phantom stench of sterile beds, and silences the never-ending echo of a flatlining monitor.

"...there's been an accident..."
    "...you can't go into the surgery room..."
         "...it's a difficult procedure..."
              "...we've established stability, but only just..."
                   "...they're doing all they can, please..."
                        "...I'm sorry."

It teases the border between an itch in the mind and a physical heaviness on the wind. It flits like an insect, making itself known with a flutter of wings only to vanish before its presence can truly be determined. And it tells a tale, of life and loss, of things not yet gone but not entirely there. For as long as I stand amid the cooling breeze and it's hidden berth I can never really feel it clearly, and I never will.

There's something in the air today. It's a cloud of memories, sad, happy, of regret, of promise. But it's not quite thin enough to drift into my heart, and it's never thick enough to carry me away.

Author's Note

Written on an overnight plane ride on my Ipod. Apologies for typos.

Idea from a November/December holiday contest. I chose All Souls' Day, November 2nd, which celebrates those who have died but still remain on Earth (following All Hallows' Evening on October 31st and All Saints' Day on November 1st).

Reviews

[Jenkins Writings]

Beautiful prose. I could have seen this turn into a short story as well. Unlike most posts I see the words beg for the reader's attention. They aren't hollow, shriveled sentences, instead life and power manifests the prose. Well done.

[L. Fenella]

This is so haunting. I don't really know what to say. Wow.

[Butters]

Wow this is great. I also love the personification (sp?). Especially the 1st and 2nd to last paragraph. The more I look at it the more I like it!

[LOfCharlemagne]

Brilliant piece! I loved your dialog in this story. It is so unique and refreshing. You have beautiful descriptions ("It flits like an insect"...) and the personification of air is genius. I really loved the story, well done!!

[selkietales]

Wow that's really good. And I like this take on dead people remaining on earth rather than a ghost or something that the character actually sees. This is more tragic and emotional somehow.

[TheSweet]

This is the mark of a true word-weaver, a bard of old to speak tales perfectly told. For what this is, I don't think there's anything that can be done to improve it. Thanks so much for sharing :)

[S.P. Johnson Jr.]

I'd call it narrative poetry, like the old songs and stories, especially due to the manipulation of standard format. (Italics within ellipses within quotations at angling indentations)
Nicely done.

[Buddhistboy73]

This is the first piece tonight I have read that has caught my eye. I thought it was a poem, and actually was glad it turned out to be poem like. This grabbed my attention right from the start, with the negative this is not....and the italicised parts of this piece made it for me. I felt the first italicised part, as it's something that I think we can all identify with.....and then you hit the reader with the second part....and the ending is inspired. Look forward to reading more of your work....BB

[Craig2591]

I'm new here and I don't know anything about writing, so I feel a little awkward reviewing other's work. But this is very nice! I found it to be touching and poignant without being kitchy at all. (I always worry about that in my own writing) Well done!

[None]

Wow. This is like a song, especially in the way you return to the beginning at the end, your lyric writing style, and the way you stagger the lines of dialogue. Sooooo beautiful. I felt it when I read it. Submit this somewhere. It neeeeeds to be read. Begs for it.

Thank you.