At First Sight

An unfortunate combination of company stinginess, front desk mix-ups, and sheer bad luck...

Anthony Fielding looked over at the woman who stood on the other side of the cheap hotel suite, the dim light bulb illuminating the look of distinct annoyance on her face. He didn’t try to hide his glare.

 

“Trouble with the sofa-bed?” Anthony sneered as he dropped his suitcase onto the queen-sized mattress. He’d met Vivine Harrison last month after her transfer to his office, and it had been dislike at first sight.

 

“There is no sofa-bed,” came the sharp retort. Anthony grimaced. Her voice always annoyed him for some inexplicable reason, just like everything else about her.

 

“So much the better,” he drawled as he began to unpack. Vivine stormed over, slamming his suitcase shut.

 

“Look, I hate these room arrangements as much as you do, and I'm not sleeping on the couch for this whole damn conference,” she hissed.

 

“Then feel free to use the floor.”

 

“The floor!”

 

“Oh, the girl can listen. You know how to respect your betters, I’ll give you that!”

 

“Goddamn it, Anthony! Why do you hate me so much?”

 

Anthony spun around and stepped forwards, but instead of being intimidated Vivine held her stance and suddenly the two found themselves nose to nose, breathing each other’s air as that crucial word hung between them. Why? Why did their personalities clash so? Was it because they were so different? Or so much the same?

 

“Vivine...”

 

What happened next was lost in blur as insults fell silent on parted lips and anger somehow morphed into passion. When it was over she lay across his body, her head resting on his chest and her eyelashes painting light butterfly kisses over his naked flesh.

 

“That shouldn’t have happened.”

 

But even with those words in the air, neither questioned why they had no will to move before settling down to sleep.

 

“And it never will again.”

 

Waking the next morning with their bodies entwined and the scent of the previous night heavy on the sheets, both decided that “never” could wait.

Author's Note

Something I threw together for a contest. Requirements were that stories had to be exactly 333 words, and include a lightbulb, an enemy's virtues, and butterflies.

Suggestions for improvement are greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Brytt]

I love it. It's great so far. The dialogue is perfect, too.

[.......]

This is an amazing Story I really like this...Cute ending

[Sunflower 20]

haha, i really liked the ending! for a precise word limit you did really well. and i also like the way you used the required elements, butterflies, a lightbulb and an enemies virtues. it was very clever.
but i disagree that it needs to be longer. i like it the way it is. well done! :)

[Dinesh Sairam]

I agree with Aurora. For a given amount of words, you really have written a great story and one with considerable weight of feeling. But, I think a longer version with bigger description would fare much better, because suspense goes good with romance, si?

Keep writing.

[Aurora Lynn]

I thought that this was a great story! It's hard to write a story with exactly any amount of words, and you did it perfectly AND wrote a great story to boot. Great work.

~Aurora