At First Sight

An unfortunate combination of company stinginess, front desk mix-ups, and sheer bad luck...

Anthony Fielding looked over at the woman who stood on the other side of the cheap hotel suite, the dim light bulb illuminating the look of distinct annoyance on her face. He didn’t try to hide his glare.

 

“Trouble with the sofa-bed?” Anthony sneered as he dropped his suitcase onto the queen-sized mattress. He’d met Vivine Harrison last month after her transfer to his office, and it had been dislike at first sight.

 

“There is no sofa-bed,” came the sharp retort. Anthony grimaced. Her voice always annoyed him for some inexplicable reason, just like everything else about her.

 

“So much the better,” he drawled as he began to unpack. Vivine stormed over, slamming his suitcase shut.

 

“Look, I hate these room arrangements as much as you do, and I'm not sleeping on the couch for this whole damn conference,” she hissed.

 

“Then feel free to use the floor.”

 

“The floor!”

 

“Oh, the girl can listen. You know how to respect your betters, I’ll give you that!”

 

“Goddamn it, Anthony! Why do you hate me so much?”

 

Anthony spun around and stepped forwards, but instead of being intimidated Vivine held her stance and suddenly the two found themselves nose to nose, breathing each other’s air as that crucial word hung between them. Why? Why did their personalities clash so? Was it because they were so different? Or so much the same?

 

“Vivine...”

 

What happened next was lost in blur as insults fell silent on parted lips and anger somehow morphed into passion. When it was over she lay across his body, her head resting on his chest and her eyelashes painting light butterfly kisses over his naked flesh.

 

“That shouldn’t have happened.”

 

But even with those words in the air, neither questioned why they had no will to move before settling down to sleep.

 

“And it never will again.”

 

Waking the next morning with their bodies entwined and the scent of the previous night heavy on the sheets, both decided that “never” could wait.

Author's Note

Something I threw together for a contest. Requirements were that stories had to be exactly 333 words, and include a lightbulb, an enemy's virtues, and butterflies.

Suggestions for improvement are greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Archia]

That's a great last line; it ends up, but doesn't end their story. I liked how the character's personalities came through, in such a short space. There was a nice plot to.

[Confidential]

Wow! Interesting parameters you worked around with this...I liked it a lot! Very good indeed. One thing that's been pointed out and which I noticed myself was the lack of mistakes, in terms of spelling things right and whatnot, grammatically, etc., I reallly respect that. The whole piece is nicely broken up as well so it flows well and is really really easy to read. One thing that just immediately makes me not want to continue (and sometimes even start) reading a particular piece is bad format...oh, and bad writing, hahahah. Fortunately, in my opinion, you aren't the sort of writer who runs in to those problems all too often. I'll probably look in to your other work in the future, maybe more later tonight. You really packed a lot in to a little! Good work.


Respect,
-Confidential

[Jazique]

Space between "light bulb" and a few grammar mistakes but, other then that I thought wow. It was very interesting as it had my attention. Very entertaing. Well done.

[Jesse Jacques]

i loved it. great descriptions and no grammar or spelling mistakes that i can see.

[Valette]

That was amusing.
I really liked this one. Amusing surprise. Maybe you could add a little more, you know, without the 333-word restriction. I think it would be even better if you could spend more time on a heated I-hate-your-guts argument that 'morphed' into passion.
I would really like to read more!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very well written story, I wanted more!

[Irish_Ranger]

Considering the parameters you were given, you did quite excellently with this one. Very impressive.

[Lilly Negoi]

"never" could wait - this is a great way to end this :). this is good, especially if we consider the circumstances for which it's written, but to say it bluntly, i think i'm much more attracted to other of your writings :)...from my point of view, this is merely a scratch from what your pen is able to carve in words :).

[MoonTig3r]

that was a amazing way to portray the feelings and emotions of the characters so well with a limited amount of words to use. You can really read this as if its being played right in front of your face. well done.

[Celeste21]

Classic tale of opposites attract. I think we can all think of someone like this (current partners) that we hate to love/ love to hate. I like how this story unfolded.