Something that shouldn't mortify your brain but make you eager to know more. Is the night really dead or is it just this one man-made structure? A structure with bricks that are glued with cement.
Dead of Night:
Humid
steamy vapour racing in the air busted out it’s surge of adrenaline and chemical
reaction that bonds every soul. The pleasant breeze unravelled a storm of
hormones spilling every desires of those adolescence. It’s sensational ecstatic
pleasures. A day where the streets are piled up with panties, bras and boxers steaming
the depressed street causing flames nearby houses in the corner and shops to be
in service twenty-four seven. On a seemingly pleasant day, a couple went out on
a date. Swinging their arms and chiming to the whistling leaves. Indulging
their heavenly treats of hot-chocolate, caramel waffles with double cream all
so scrumptious that they even share a mouthful out in the open. Spreading their
mouths with that sweetness that blends into their light sunny complexion. A
sweet honeymoon indeed. Panting their breathes so harmoniously that they end up
inhaling each other’s oxygen. They try not to even suffocate each other with
their scorching touch.
The sun enhances their vision spreading its light onto
their eyes. Giving them sight of a phoenix soaring through mountains and valleys.
Their brains stimulate with sheer ecstasy of the sugary powder they consumed
right under the blossom trees. Their once despair of insecurity revolving around
their first honeymoon is pulverised into tiny fragments of perfume particles. Lavender,
Buttercups and Magnolia blows their petals and pollens into their relished cheeks.
One like plump raspberries the other like a bashful strawberry waiting to
initiate its provocative energy. It’s desire to be feed within the inside.
Providing nutrition to its muscular body. They were amazed that their day was
not interrupted with gloomy, blustery, showers. What a festive delight! The
spectacular performance of youthful sweetness! Ah, this pleasant day can never
go downturn into mayhem. Would this exquisite day last? However, the couple
wanted some privacy, so they drove to a romantic place with beautiful, ocean
blue lakes. A few hours later, the sun descended, and they walked back to the
car.
Unexpectedly, they ended up on a road they weren’t familiar with. The man
decided to take charge. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and looked at
Google Maps. Both remained in their balanced composure. Despite them both being
apprehensive of the outcome, in this circumstance they both accepted this with equanimity
despite getting lost. Only superstition passed their gasoline engines of bile.
Mocking their conscious in disordering their brain to forecast its prediction of
a negative threat or a positive opportunity. Its outcome all depends on the scenario
they picked. The man proceeded down the dark, creepy, narrow road until they
reached a tunnel. The man proceeded and drove cautiously, into the tunnel.
Pitch �" black. There was only darkness. The car did not come out from the
outside of the tunnel. Silence. Nothing was heard or seen. Silence.
Ta dah! A new piece with suspense, dramatic thirsty teenagers and a humorous narrator! All for your satisfaction. So, I dare you to grab a sweet and dig into my work if you dare! (psst I wrote this long ago so now you can read and review it) Alas, the formatting has been changed. Apologies for the big chunk of text now it is in separate paragraphs. Poor me thinking it is possible to edit this on my phone when I am bombarded with chunks of HTML coding.
My Review
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Wow. This was like reading a painting while it's being painted. It constantly changes and alters itself, but it still has a flow to it. Really good job with this one.
This is amazingly written! The detail, the atmosphere, the ending, and all of it is just so fun and interesting to read. It pulls you in with its little details. The ending is perfectly haunting and creepy, a contrast to the happy, honeymoon romance in the beginning. It's not repetitive at all, which is just a very hard thing in writing, not using the same words over and over again, but each paragraph, phrase, and everything is fresh, and no detail or description outstays its welcome. Thank goodness you started writing because we need more pieces like this, endlessly fun to read. And yes, I also have a problem with formatting, it can be a huge nightmare! In spite of all of that, it didn't make it hard to read at all, because as a brilliant writer yourself, you wrote a great piece.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Wow! This review was delightful to read. I'm glad it wasn't repetitive as I get anxious thinking if .. read moreWow! This review was delightful to read. I'm glad it wasn't repetitive as I get anxious thinking if it is. Honestly, your praise makes me smile. I do tend to try to use as much things I can in all areas of writing to make it better but the main thing is that I am glad you were able to read this and I really appreciate this review. Thank you so much! :)
A mystic writer who writes stories and poems. I started my expedition by exploring through endless writing sites like this from 2020 during lockdown. Whilst I have been imprisoned at home I decided t.. more..