The Light Fades

This is a poem I wrote one night while I was feeling down.

I have my days, 

Where I greet the world, 

Give it a huge cheesy smile, 

Days of happiness and peace. 

I also have my days, 

Where this world crashes, 

It's light turns to darkness, 

And everything I have is gone. 

There are times I want to stay, 

And times where I want to leave, 

I feel like I'm not good enough, 

And that it's impossible I ever will be. 

But I stay and fight for you, 

You are my strength and courage, 

Other times you are the bullet for my gun. 

Just remember, I'll always love you.

Author's Note

Please, comments and critique are welcome.

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

Again, a piece obviously inspired by powerful dark emotions, but which sadly fails to fully convey them. I think it would be healthy for you to exercise the way you write your poetry; try something other than four-line stanzas! Experiment with rhyme schemes, line length, meter, stanzaic form -- the best way to learn about these poetic devices is to read lots of different kinds of poetry from lots of different poets! When you find a poem you really love, try to write a piece inspired by (but by no means a copy of) that piece as a way to explore new and different options. Best of luck!

[kitty cat]

amazing peom, great job, loved it

[OrangeSlice]

Amazing exactly how I feel right now but put in words amazing :)

[Nyu]

yeah it is only as u think, how u think that makes it bad or good. without thoughts nothing much of anything.

[Virdie Morrison]

I (grudgingly) have to admit that I enjoyed this poem. Your poetry is blatant rather than suggestive and I usually don't find much enjoyment in those style of pieces. I would rather be shown an emotion than told an emotion. However, I think you did a great job. Your simple writing works well for your subject matter. Great use of juxtaposition.

[Carrie]

This was really good! I love the contrasts. If I were you I might use a little bit more creative of adjectives or something, but that is probably just personal taste. I think it is really good and I enjoyed reading it!

[RAOrourke]

Very truthful poem of how a person can control so many of our feelings Good job!

[daemok]

I like how this is a story sequence, you have opposing paragraphs that work well with each other, if I could just make one suggestion I would have loved to see more descriptive words to really bring out the color of your emotions. Nice poem friend.

[FlamingPhoenix]

Perfectly relatable and a beautiful testament of how loving another gives us strength!