The Bucket Has Tipped

day 2, and I dont know how to stop.

Torrid, serrated nails

hold her heart ajar,

to bleed its’ precious youth

onto the cold ceramic floor.

 

The lustrous, gossamer scent,

trickles past

with titanium glints; drooling as

a craving builds with every ruby that appears.

 

Borrowing tears from the

Blades compulsive edge,

drinking life as it runs down

my shaking, frigid, demonic, crippled hands.

 

Her will shattered and split

The rage and tension

Stretched beneath her skin.

 

She broke free

Reviews

[gloomysundays]

I love your vocabulary and the way you present your word. Something that bothered me was your use of apostrophes.

You see, in the English language the word its' does not exist.

http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-its-and-its/

Other than that, you also wrote "blades' " compulsive edge. The correct spelling is "blade's" compulsive edge because it's one single blade. If it were multiple blades, it would be "blades' compulsive edges".

Your grammar in general is very off in the poem. You capitalize the first letter in every new line, regardless of whether or not the sentence has ended. They're very common mistakes but very silly ones too.

Anyways, it was an interesting read.

Good luck and happy writing!

Cheers!
74/100

[Kait]

I appreciate your review. I never knew how to use apostrophes so I understand your frustration. lol
And the capitalization at the beginning of each line is a stylistic choice, not a grammatical mistake.
Thanks.

[gloomysundays]

I used to write in all capital letters until someone commented on one of my writings stating that it took her a while to figure out that "Howl" was in fact my character and not the verb. Sometimes, our stylistic choices aren't for the best but if you think it looks fine, by all means knock yourself out. Haha.

It took me a while to learn about the apostrophes as well. Just look them up online! Very simple and to the point. I think there are even some comics someone made. Here we go!

http://theoatmeal.com/tag/grammar

Grammatical and funny! Enjoy.