9

Isaiah visiting me was such a comfort. I don't think I've had such a meaningful conversation or more tender moment with anyone in all my life. Billy yes, but this was different. This was about my mother, he knew her and loved her and misses her just as I do. Such a comfort existed in our pain, I know I won't ever share anything so personal regarding my mother with anyone ever again.

When we left, I read awhile and thanked the heavens that he had found me; not Ms. Carlyle and not The Beast. I trust him to keep my secret and aid my mission in anyway he can. As night approaches and the effect of the sun's rays decrease, my brain's activities increase. So many hypothetical scenarios and what-ifs are flashing through my mind; what would and what could possibly happen. I started to get a headache from all my anxious thinking. So, I told myself I needed all the rest I could manage for the night, more than ever before; I needed to be rested and ready. I quieted my mind and began to sing myself to sleep while I slowly rubbed my belly, hoping the person inside of me could here our lullaby.

The morning comes and I open my eyes but don't get up, just continue to lay. I still have a whole day to get through. I rose, waited to get my sickness of the morning, then ate what remaining food I had. I read for a bit, then decided to occupy my time by writing awhile. I then napped and rested some more, laying in the sun and enjoying the heat on my face. As the inevitable transition to night began to occur, my anticipation grew once again to fear. I've been anxiously waiting all day for this, and yet now it seems it has come too soon. All the scenes from the night before began to replay in my head. I try to distract myself my songs, but to no avail.

Finally, I succumb to the anxiety and watch the scenes unfold in my head. I decid to try to learn from each one, in case it indeed would happen in such a way. I opted to turn the hypothetical, what-if, hysteria into practice runs so I would be prepared for anything. Perhaps I did this a little too long, for before I know it the moon and stars have once again conquered the sky and I realize I have no idea what time it is. Quickly, I gather my things leaving the blanket behind and scamper in the direction of the old shack. Oh my, if I'm late I hope he'll wait for me. I wonder which scene from my head will turn out to be the reality of the night.