5

I am nervous about next week. Well nervous and excited. Why am I feeling this way? I'm just using him right? When I brought him behind the cafe I thought I was going to have to force my flirtatious acts and pretend to want him. Up close though... well up close he was much more dashing than I remembered. Perhaps it was because I was concentrating on Sam, perhaps because I had just glanced over and didn't really take the time to actually look at the other three men in the room that day- perhaps. All I know is that as I pulled his face to meet mine and began to kiss him, my heart was pounding. I didn't have to fake any of it. I really did want him, I mean I really do want him. Those big doe eyes, that smirk and that rock-hard part of his body being pressed into me... it was a deadly combination. Perhaps it's just having a man who's not The Beast on me, or perhaps I really do like him. Either way the exchange was pleasant; I daresay I'll even enjoy the experience. Here I thought I was going to have to climb one man over another in order to escape, but maybe I'll just need and want the one.

Only six days left. I need to hide my anticipatory excitement. Luckily The Beast is busier than ever with these large, new orders to notice me much. Still, I can't get sloppy. I feel I’m getting closer to my freedom and I can't jeopardize it now. Freedom. What will I do after I escape? I never thought about that until just now. Escape has been the only idea to consume my thoughts since mother passed... but after? I'm getting dizzy just thinking about the outside world. Escape, let's stick with that first. After-all, never count your eggs before they hatch, right?