My Mind is a Black Scribble

Sometimes my thoughts are blocked by a storm.

I am unsure of what to be, unsure of what I see.

My feelings are unknown, plus not the ones I’ve shown.

I don’t mean to lie, I’m just trying to pass by.

If only I was sure, I don’t want anything more.

I’m not sad or mad, I don’t even feel glad.

I want to feel something, instead of nothing.

Maybe it’s depression, or my obsession.

It’s not like I know, or have the will to let go.

I might be falling apart, or having a change of heart.

Those I know don’t forget, that I have regret.

That might be the reason why, I’m trying not to cry.

Things I have done, just to have fun.

I wish I could just stop, and climb back to the top.

How long until I drown, I keep getting pulled down.

No one can hear me scream, I wish this was a dream.

The ocean of hurt will drown me, why can’t I swim free?

I could let someone know, but I don’t want it to show.

It doesn’t last forever, though I still prefer never.

Am I just lazy, or feeling somewhat hazy?

It won’t leave my head, I fear I’ll wind up dead.

I feel so much like a bother, ever since my father.

I can’t do anything right, it keeps me up at night.

Emotions are my biggest fear, yet they’re always so near.

Even when I’m home, I feel so on my own.

Author's Note

Some parts might need editing, but I still really like this poem.