Ink Smears (each one dedicated to you)

July 2015

The only thing worse than how often you disappoint, 

is that I predict it every damn time...

I hate you for your incessant and growing ability, to without fail, make me feel like an idiot.

You let me sit around, idealizing and dreaming it

Watching me believing it, hearing me, agreeing with it.

But Every. Damn. Time... you disappoint again, 

I have no explanation for why I keep falling in.

I'm smarter than this!

But no one's smarter than bliss.

I keep trying to find new perspective on this.

You're so good at pretending not to care, I've decided to take a page from your book.

Only difference is I really won't care. You're off the hook.

You couldn't imagine the number of words I've written in your name;

Or how many times I've ripped pages up in shame,

All too aware, that you don't feel the same...

I wish I didn't expect you to forget my birthday.

I wish I didn't call that you'd never show.

Most of all- I wish I never talked you up a mountain to everyone I know.

You break my heart every god damn day.

Sometimes it's what you don't do,

Sometimes it's what you say.

You can't turn around and declare your love,

to a victim carrying mental scars that you inflicted

But still I let you stay when you should have been evicted. 

I wonder if you'd cry, 

If I let you read the words on these pages,

If you saw the ink that's been smeared, by tears you created.

I write as I watch tears roll down this page.

Each one... dedicated.. to you.

Reviews

[RomaJ]

This is an amazing piece of poetry. I enjoyed the rhythm and how effortlessly it flows. The emotions it brings, actually makes me want to punch someone in the face haha I love it. I love this. Excellent writing.

[FateDictates]

you so simply and seamlessly effortless in setting the scene that still scars us many, you captured a moment not so secret and known to a few including me, took me there and I loved it..curtsy bow to you