Guineverre

Of Guineverre, Arthur, Mordred and the battle of Camlann.

I long to meet a Guinevere
So many poems I'd pen
Like Guinevere by the Azure Mere
Or simply, My Sweet Gwen

I taste the sound of Guinevere
Tis salt upon my lips
Perhaps she'd be my Gwenhwyfar
Sweet wine of Arthur's sips

Smooth and fair my Guinevere
Of her so many songs be sung
I'd love you o'er and o'er, my dear
Tomorrow I'd have ye hung.

r ~ 4/22/14

Author's Note

Reading and ran across the name Guineverre. Thought it a name that tickles the tongue. This poem written with the Guineverre of Arthur fame with Mordred and the battle of Camlann in mind

Reviews

[LawrenceRaybon]

I love the subtle references to her betrayal, the "salt upon my lips" referencing tears and 'tomorrow I'd have ye hung' because of her part in bringing about Arthur's demise. Really nice!

I also love the use of the Welch 'Gwenhwyfar' but it does throw a kink in the nice rhyme scheme you set up. After reading it multiple times I don't know that it needs to be changed, but it is a small blemish on an otherwise wonderful poem.

Excellent job!

Cheers,
Lawrence

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***

[Rick r]

Thanks, Lawrence. I appreciate your close read and your comments. Yes, Gwenhwyfar does throw a slight kink, but I felt it worth it to give a nod to the Welsh and keep the historic aspect. I figured most would struggle with how to pronounce it and move on with a semblance of rhyme intact. :) Thanks again,
Rick

[Patricia]

Brilliant! I just love this one! I taste the sound of Guineverre....Love that line! And the first stanza was just awesome!

[Rick r]

Thanks, Patricia. It was a fun write.
Rick