Sign Your Life Away

*Not based on personal experiences. I'm simply frustrated that the U.S. post-secondary educational lending system, along with our universities, has been allowed to become abusive and usurious.

Sign Your Life Away

 

Sign your name on the dotted line;

A simple Hancock will suffice.

We'll send a check to your school.

Don't worry about the price. 

 

You can pay later.

We're a rather friendly bunch.

Use this extra money,

And treat your friends to lunch.

 

Borrow money for all your needs.

In four years, you'll be set.

Earn a degree; it's easy!

Go on, embrace this debt.

 

Tuition, textbooks, housing―

University expenses galore.

It's impossible to pay in cash;

Go ahead and borrow more.

 

Graduation day!  Hip Hip Horay! 

In six months, your payment's due.

Go find a job, you f*****g slob.

If you don't pay up, we'll sue.

 

Can’t find a job!?  Too bad!

How on Earth will you pay?

Borrow from your mom and dad;

Bend to our greedy ways. 

 

When payments stop flowing

From your bank account to ours.

Your debt will keep on growing.

It's impossible to get out. 

 

And when you default,

We'll give you calls

To remind you of your dues.

Harassment!?  Yeah, we have the balls. What’re you gonna do?

 

We've got you now,

There's no way out.

You're our little cash cow.

Garnishments will keep you weeping,  and living without.

 

Just to rub it in,

Our profits will increase

While you’re eating from your last tin,

We’ll be playing golf in Greece.

 

Your life is ruined,

No baby or new house for you.

All because you went to school.

It seemed like the right thing to do.

 

Your a*s is forever ours!

There's nothing you can do.

You're pleading to Uncle Sam?

Ha-ha!  We own him, too. 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Feel free to comment, review, tell me what you like/dislike, or tell me a personal story if you can relate to this poem.

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

College is expensive so go into the medical field or engineering. There's jobs Galore in those fields. Great poem

[D.E. Ball]

I'm thinking of going into the medical field, actually. Later this year, I'm moving to Australia from Japan. I'm going to apply to a couple of schools, and if I'm accepted into a nursing program, and can get some scholarships (fingers crossed), I'll study for the next three years.

[D.E. Ball]

Thanks for your comment!

[JulieÉmile]

Ha Ha! Your poem is a quintessential of conveying tragic stuff in a humorous way. It is bitterly sarcastic and blatantly honest. That's why I loved it so much. I could't find any mistakes and one derives an absolute kick from reading this. Very good writing. Thank you for sharing this.

[D.E. Ball]

Thank you for your comment! I'm glad that you were able to derive enjoyment from my poem.
I was looking at Graduate Schools, the other day , and I became angry when I saw the tuition costs.
The only way I can afford to go is through borrowing, something which I am adamant against at this point in my life. I've done a bit of research on the student lending practices in the States, and I've read too many horror stories on the subject.
This poem was just the culmination of my frustrations, and general distrust of the lending system and its abusive and usurious practices.

[Atthis Rose]

Don't you think you're being a little harsh on Student Loans here?

[D.E. Ball]

This poem is not really about student loans, but moreso about the lenders' treatment of borrowers who can't pay their dues.

[Atthis Rose]

Ha! I knew that

[Will Neill]

Good poem don liked it.
Will

[D.E. Ball]

Thanks for your comment. :D