Shutting Down

Frustrations at work...

Shutting Down

 

Appropriate times call for inappropriate measures.

So many voices surround me,

Confound me,

Bind me to this chair.

They're but white noise,

Blending into the air.

Indecipherable words,

That can only be heard, meanings bare.

Maybe if I crack and yell,

Cry out from noise-filled hell,

They'll carry me out,

Jacket clad.

There's no doubts

This place is drawing out

The worst parts of me.

The darkened heart of me.

I can make it through this...

Introspecting, self-reflecting,

Holding my thoughts

And with fears wrought,

I'll eventually detonate,

Self-implode,

I hesitate to release this flow.

Perhaps, the attention I crave,

Has made me grow into a gluttonous slave.

My only feasts are from

The nonsense released by those around me.

I dutifully follow,

In self-pity, I quietly wallow.

And their pain I swallow

Like broken glass,

Tearing at me from the inside.

I am over-thinking this...

But my patience Is shrinking.

I feel my tolerance sinking.

My fuses have blown

And to protect myself,

I'm shutting down.

Author's Note

I've been quite frustrated at my workplace, and especially at one of my coworkers, a newer teacher. For a few months, I've been bottling everything inside, and it's been taking a bit of a toll on my mental health. I'm taking a bit of time off.
It's not easy for me to express my feelings, and at work it's more difficult because there is a huge language barrier. All of my coworkers are Japanese, and speak poor English at best. My Japanese is pretty lousy, so effective communication is next to impossible. >_<

Reviews

[JulieÉmile]

One can feel the itch of claustrophobia while reading this. All I can tell you is to hang in there patiently and give your best. The frustration will dwindle, slowly but surely. I hope you felt a bit better after writing this. That's why one should have a hobby. Such a sublime way to release ones pent up emotion!

About your writing. Nicely written and as I said earlier, the claustrophobic effect one gets shows how well you have constructed this. Take a break every now and then to write more of these. Will be very happy to review for you. Nice work.

[D.E. Ball]

Thank you for your review!
In my office, I feel a bit anxious because there is so much background noise (people, copy machines, phones, etc.), and I prefer more quiet environments. In some ways, the open office plan that my school uses leaves me feeling a little smothered, with its total lack of privacy and personal space.
I feel a lot better since I've been getting treatments for Social Anxiety Disorder; the frustration has definitely subsided, and overall, I'm a much happier, less stressed out person. I have lots of hobbies -- writing, singing, cooking (just to name a few) -- so when I can devote my free time to them, I feel very happy.

[Gobinder Singh Dhindsa]

Beautiful.. Pen On.. Do u read mine 2 Time, Why? and who is a poet.. If possible then give ur reviews..

Regards,
Lucky

[Holly Mason]

I do not know you -obviously *) but I hate to hear all of your frustrations the language barrier has to be difficult
good emotional let it all out write
thank you for sharing