First Comes Desolation

First Comes Desolation

A Poem by poetictori
"

Just something in the dark realm of my thoughts.

"
No matter how hard you try to smother paint 
Over the somber shadows on your lilac wall,
The cheerless shade will always seep through
Like black smudged fingerprints,
And the blood stains in your eyes
It's wounds sting every part of my existence

© 2017 poetictori


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......Holy kwap! Indeed you did go to a dark realm, and conjured a short but profoundly powerful piece! WOW! The only things I need to say about this is: put a dash after "eyes", change "It's" (in the last line) to "its" (as that's the correct one in this case), and give the last line its own stanza. It would look and flow so much better. But d@mn is this good! The second line is divine, Lines 4 and 5 are brilliant! This is a genuine gem! A marvel! Poetry in motion! Well freaking done!

(I hope you're ok now....did this venting help?)

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on February 12, 2017
Last Updated on February 12, 2017

Author

poetictori
poetictori

About
I use this site as a safe place for some of my poetry. I've had mishaps countless times with accidently throwing my handwritten poetry away. At the same time, I might as well share some of it...but ba.. more..

Writing