Into the ocean

This is an ongoing battle of how a self- destructive person feels.

While walking on shore and looking at the ocean, 

Sometimes I feel like running Into it. 

Without taking off my shoes, 

I want to feel the salty water surrounding me, 

Pulling me in closer, 

I want the current to bring me to its core, 

I want it to toss me around, 

Steadily, 

Silently, 

 Let the waves crash in, 

                                     Then crash out, 

And as the water falls out of my eyes, 

It won't leave a trace, 

Dispersing into thin waters, 

With no where to go but outwards, 

I want the water to fill my lungs, 

And wash me away, 

My head will go under, 

Until I come up, 

I breathe, 

 And I'm in the middle of the ocean.