Not Okay

I’m not okay.

Nothing about how I feel is okay.

I’m angry.

Then I’m sad.

Then I’m furious.

Then I feel nothing.

 

I tell everyone I’m fine

I’m better now

I went to therapy.

I fixed the problem.

 

But I feel like a storm.

And everyone is viewing me from a far.

From far away it only looks like a little rain.

Maybe some winds.

But up close.

I’m a hurricane.

Unstable.

Dark.

Angry.

 

I don’t want to feel this way anymore.

I want to feel normal.

Happy.

I don’t wanna double guess my friends

My family.

My boyfriend.

My self.

I know logically they love me.

I know logically they care for me.

But my head tells me they don’t.

My head tells me they hate me.

My head tells me they just tolerate me.

 

I don’t want to feel this way.

Author's Note

I wouldn't exactly call this a 'poem' but that's the only classification that this fits under.

Reviews

[cheyenne s garcia]

powerful words ! i enjoyed this writing. i hope to hear more from you.