Hear me

I quit.

I am throwing in the towel,

I am done with the lies and the hurt and the get outs and stay heres and leave me be’s,

I am tired of the feeling that you can’t hear me,

That I’m not here that I’m non existent,

But I love you,

Oh god how I love you!

I love your laugh, your smile, your heart and personality,

The way you kiss my nose and to be silly,

The way you even kiss my toes,

Where is the guy from the first date?

The sweaty palms when you first held my hand the held breaths when we shared our first kiss

I am not saying my love for you has changed but the spirit of fighting to stay or go is fading softly,

There seems to be more more things in the way our jobs,

Our school, our family, our lives, are they even the same any more?

The way you look at me has me curious,

I’m no longer as thin, as relaxed or maybe as beautiful as I used to be,

Those kind of dreams haunt me in my sleep,

Every now and then there is a flower,

A smile,

A laugh, it  brings me to the old days,

But every other day it’s a grin, or a chuckle and if it is  at me I wouldn’t know,

I’m not invisible,

I am still here I’m loving as hard as I have ever loved!

Hoping that  loving you like that might just be enough to keep you around,

It frightens me,

I shouldn’t need you as much as i need you but then again I have never wanted

Or needed anybody as much as I fear as I need you,

Oh dear can you hear me?

No more silence no more leering no more frustrations please just grab me,

Hold me,

Kiss me,

Touch me,

Hear me,

Hear me.

Because my dear if only you would hear me,

You would see just as dear as you are to me from day one to today,

Just please take the moment to hear me.