Lake Harriet.

Lake Harriet.

A Poem by Tori

The lake water slows as the current dies,
a million voices heard screaming but only one stops,
a mother's sorrows can be heard for blocks,
for the girl with the pink bow and curly locks,
has fallen under the surface, of Lake Harriet. 

© 2015 Tori


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I know what it is like to lose a child when one should not. It is the most heart wrenching feeling of helplessness imaginable and we plead to God, but why? When we do not receive the answer from God right away or to our satisfaction we get angry with our God. We fail to Understand at that time that God has lost a child as well.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I agree with Sandra. The pain was conveyed with expertise. I could envision the scene and it almost made me lose my breath. good job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tori

9 Years Ago

Thank you very much:)
This was masterfully done. You've captured so much pain in a few short lines. You were very efficient with your descriptions. What can I say? I look forward to reading more of your work.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tori

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your feed back, i was hoping to accomplish that goal for the reader.
Hauntingly powerful. Its short but doesn't compromise quality.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I wrote a very very long review and it didn't even post it all the way :/ but I explained word for word what I felt what it entirely meant for each line and finally put it all into words. This piece is beautiful.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such a devastating image... 'a million voices heard screaming but only one stops' - vivid and powerful. Great write.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tori

9 Years Ago

Thank you it was my first attempt to write a short write but make the story powerful.
....................

9 Years Ago

You have succeeded. :)

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334 Views
7 Reviews
Added on April 7, 2015
Last Updated on April 7, 2015

Author

Tori
Tori

FL



About
I'm Tori I'm 20 years old and I'm pregnant with my first child. I am joining in hopes for feed back on my writing because I wish to write my first book and put some poetry I have been working on. That.. more..

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A Poem by Tori