Rise

I wrote this poem to express my feelings toward us, as a people, rising to become greater than we are...

can we rise?

we've settled for less in these difficult times

disater and death are all around us

it's easy to say "I Give Up"

it's easy to let ourselves fail

 

life is like gravity

always pulling us down

 

so what can you do?

no that's not the question....

is it?

what will we do?

 

we must come up

from this hole we have gouged ourselves in

stand up

on our own two legs

 

lets not hold each other down

when someone is trying to fly

help them up graciously

so we can all remarkably rise 

Reviews

[That_Girl]

A fantasy I think... the idea is wonderful but in truth, it will probably never happen. Can we ever truly come together? Put aside our differences and coexist peacefully? No, I don't think so. Maybe that's just the pessimist inside of me though.... hmmm

Nice piece. :)

[Christopher Booyakasha]

No. I totally agree with you. but i do believe its something we all wish could. happen.

read moreNo. I totally agree with you. but i do believe its something we all wish could. happen.

but you are right. we are too deep in our own s**t to fix this!

[Gilad Levanon]

Haha it's only our belief that we're too deep in the s**t that could prevent us from getting out of it. If we believe it, we can do it.

[Serenity Faith]

I fell in love with this piece. If only people would help each other "rise" the world would be a much better place. Even those who do try to get up on their own, they sadly often get stepped on by people trying to get higher. This has so much hope in. I am glad I read this, I need some hope.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Yeah that's right! thanks!

[Kaylor Mason]

A pleasant dream . . . and an unrealistic one. Unfortunately, I admit

[chillz]

lovely piece I must say..some may say you're a dreamer,but you're not alone :)

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Thanks so much. I'm glad I'm not the only dreamer

[Akira]

What a lovely dream...

[Christopher Booyakasha]

you think so? lol

[Akira]

Of course. The world is full of dreamers and this is a nice dream to have.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

ouch! that's a little harsh. even though i agree. i know the world will never be like that, but it's just a poem. i don't believe in it.

[Akira]

It wasn't supposed to be harsh, just honest.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

yea. i understand

[Ban Heo]

I really like the first stanza of this poem. It has a very clear voice. The last stanza seems a little too clean cut for me though. I think it might be the 2nd line.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

thanks bro!

[Bramptonian]

I think like a double edge sword this has two meanings. One could be the struggling of American economy and one could be the struggles of a particular race. Well done my friend.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

thanks bro!

[Gilad Levanon]

An important sentiment; one that many tend to forget. I like the simplicity of the idea of helping each other up. It's as simple as that - to offer friendship, kindness, support in a world that is crafted to encourage us to battle one another and always try and get above one another. Competition is the old way - the way that has caused us to feel beaten down. Cooperation is the only way in which we can all rise.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

yes! that's exactly what that means.
thanks bro!

[Natasha]

nice write- one error i saw is that "ourself" should be "ourselves" so the line before you said "we" meaning more than one person

i really enjoyed the last stanza and thought it was the strongest part of the poem
good work!

i think this could also be translated into some sort of song lyric!

[Christopher Booyakasha]

thanks so much!

[Natasha]

you're welcome!

[Arianna]

that was really great.
like it was really awesome.
i really like the message.