A little peace of my life, a Self biography

This is a text i posted about myself in a Anti bullying group. And i think it can be a good read for anyone and hopefully maybe even a helping hand in the right direction for those can relate.

Hello, I am a 22-year-old female from Norway. I am here to tell a little about my history whit bullying today.

Ever sense I were little and in kindergarten, I had problems whit bullies and teachers alike. When I were 7 it started to be more physical bullying. The students were pushing me, hitting me, throwing rocks and ice balls, using me as a living target for footballs and whatever else they could find. Sense my school were close to the sea they would throw my backpack in the water… Sometimes even me as well and just laugh at me. They would make fun of me for not having the brand clothes, or calling me fat despite the fact that I were to thin for my age. They made fun of me because I had Dyslexia and called me allot of bad names, and each time I tried talking to a teacher nothing happened… on the other side, it got worse. When I was 9 I started to cut myself, and gain deep depression and became suicidal as the bullying just got worse and worse and soon spread to cyber bullying as well. 

When I was 10 I started to try to find ways to end it all, I had become anti-social and closed myself in. But sense I was a loner it just gave them more to bully me fore… Tough each time I tried to take my own life I could never make it. Over and over I tried but to no use, I started whit Bulimia and started to gain pounds, and they found more tings to bully me for, 3 months after my 10th birthday I go my first period. I was in my math class and got called up to fix a math problem, I was wearing white pants and it had blead trough. Even to this day I can hear there laugh and the teacher sent me home. I were devastated and ended up trying to overdose on pain killers and alcohol I stole from my dad's cabinet but luckily it didn’t help and I just woke up emptying my stomach on the floor. 

It went on like that until I turned 12 whit me trying to end my own life, the last time I tried cutting a artery while hiding in an empty classroom. But the blade didn’t cut and I started to think about my life. To think about just why I had ended up there, I started to think about my family and how sad my parents would be if I died… and over the fact that if I did… it would not help anything, if I died it would not have changed anything. That was when I finally realized that, I didn’t want to die just because I had no friends and for the cruel words they gave me each day. I started to try to ignore them, tough it didn’t stop them on the other hand it got worse as they tried everything to get a reaction out of me. 

when I was 13 I switched schools and started in a school a bit further away from where I lived. And well sense I didn’t have any friends and were still bullied by the ones I had been to school whit before I tried to buy my friends by stealing. It seemed to work fine at first before I realized they didn’t care about me at all and just the pretty tings I could get for them so I stopped and ended up going to all the stores telling them what amount I had stolen for and to apologize for being so stupid as to think I could gain friends that way. I was lucky the store owners were kind and said that just admitting my wrongs were punishment enough sense I were still young. 

So I became a loner again and when my disability’s started to come out and I started using a wheelchair and crutches the bullying started up again. Because they could not see what was wrong whit me they naturally tough I was faking it. Even my doctor didn’t take me serious at first and put me as a hypochondriac for 6 years. By then the damage were done. I didn’t have many friends growing up but the few I gained are still whit me today. Bullying is horrible and I hope no one have to go through what I did but sadly, it happen every day everywhere. And people are afraid to speak up.

Suicide is not the solution to the problem but sadly many places it goes so far that it happen. I myself have lost friends who have been bullied or had other tings happen to them to push them over the edge. As they could not handle it anymore and ended up killing them self, leaving there family and friends to morn because they were to scared to speak up. Over the years, I have started to speak up for those who are in this situation. To show them there are people out there who will understand. Who will listen and help them out the best they can. Your life is precious no matter how you look, dress, or if you have a disability. You have to believe in yourself because those who bully you… sometimes have it worse than they seem to show, therefor they pick on people who seem weaker then them to feel better.. or just to be cruel.. Either way it is not right. 

I still struggle whit depression and anxiety today but I can look back at my life and smile because I made it… I didn't let the bullies win, I stood up and pushed on, I didn’t have someone to talk to or to help me much. However, even though I didn’t you do, it’s what this is for. Therefore, I hope my story can help others to be strong as well. But keep in mind, even if you have others there to help you.. You also have to help yourself, believe in yourself and the things you can do. Because for things to get better you have to put in the effort as well. The world do not make your happiness, you do. The world do not make your choices for you, you do. So the only one that can truly help you the most, is yourself. No matter how many is around you it cannot become better unless you go in for it you self to. That's were people need to be confident whit them self, and believe they can make a difference for them self and not give up. Because the smallest thing can make a huge difference.

Author's Note

I know there might be some grammar fails and errors here and there, tough I guess its a situation many can recognize, in one way or the other. Ether yourself or that you have had a friend that have been trough it. And I hope it can help others to see, Your not alone and that Life is beautiful.

I hope you all like it.

and please.. post below. it don't have to be a full review but i want to know what people feel when reading my works.. and again I'm sorry my Dyslexia might give allot of Grammar Fails and errors as well as spelling mistakes tough I do try my best.