Chapter 1 – The reflection in the mirror.

Itchiru was walking through the halls of her school at night, it was strange how she had came to be there. Her blond long hair swayed behind her when she turned her head to look outside, It was dark and she could see the frost lingering on the leafs. her red eyes gave a soft reflection in the glass. it had been 3 weeks now sense she had been accepted into the school.. It made her both scared and excited, They had told her she was special and that is why she gained the mark on the back of her shoulder. It was nothing to fancy about the mark just a blue crescent moon whit a teardrop falling from it, but it was said to be the mark of Nyx....

Itchiru sighted lightly before continuing to walk around the halls again, she had yet to meet any of the other students there. To be blessed by Nyx was supposed to be a good thing but so far it had only caused her annoyance making her get locked up in a room where they had made her take a lot of test so manifest her powers. she found it boring and honestly did not see the point, she was no fighter all she wanted... was a friend to talk to.. the red dress they had given her hugged her curves. Itchiru looked around in the hall at all the different photos.

She then continued to walk down the halls hearing a sound and looked around a bit "H...Hello? is any one there?" she asked but no one answered, she followed the direction she thought the sound came from and bit her lip a little. The sound seemed to change directions and she started to walk faster and looked around, It seem she had wandered into the older parts of the school. Stopping in front of a big wooden door she took a deep breath and moved her hand to the handle. "I...Is any one in there?" she asked tryingly but again no one answered. opening the door she walked inside and were confused as she room was empty except a cloaked object in the middle of the room.

Tilting her head a little she walked toward the tall object and pulled of the white cheat. Itchiru jumped back a little but then calmed down as she realized it was her own reflection "A...A mirror?" she said low and walked closer again and looked at her self..

It was dark in the room....So dark...It was always dark...Ever since that day...Suddenly, a light were burst through the glass of the mirror. blinding her for but a moment before her vision would adjust, standing to match the same angle as the woman which stood before her mirror. She looked just like her and jumped back as she did. Even calming herself at the same time as she did. Of course she would...She was her reflection, after all. Long flowing blond hair which delicately ran over her shoulders and down her back, crimson eyes glittering and staring back into her own.

Every move she made, she would copy. But as they stood together, faces seeming to only be inches away from each other something strange happened...Suddenly, a soft smile would seem to break across the reflection's lips, pearly teeth clear behind her smile. Oh, she just couldn't help it...This was all too sweet of a moment the reflection thought to her self as she watched Itchiru...

For years...no...maybe even centuries...She had been locked away in there...In this dark copy-cat of a world...Twisted and opposite of everything in the world on the other side...Just out of her reach...But now...now it was no longer out of her reach...She could almost taste the opportunity on her tongue.

Itchiru looked at her self in the reflection of the mirror and she bit her lip a little, she had hoped maybe some one in here would talk to her...To be her friend but she had ended up whit a mirror.. She moved some of her hair behind her ear and straightened her red dress a little as she sighted. She had been so sure she had heard some one.. Or something move but now being in the dark room she realized it must have been her own imagination. The thought disappointed her greatly as she kept looking at her self. For a moment she thought she had seem her reflection move and she looked a little closer at the mirror..

"I must be losing my mind" she muttered to her self a little as she kept looking toward her reflection, she moved a little and sure enough the reflection again did the same. Itchiru sighted a little as she kept looking at her self but then looked shocked as she saw the reflection move on its own again..

Her reflection suddenly begun to move on it's own, slowly lifting up her pale and delicate hand and pressing it against the glass from the other side...As if beckoning her...Begging her to touch the glass that parted them."H..How is this possible" Itchiru asked her self as she saw the reflection move her hand to the glass.

The curiosity getting the better of her Itchiru moved closer to the mirror and looked at the place her reflection had its hands "T..This is not a mirror at all is it..Maybe its a trick?" She asked softly to her self while looking at the woman who looked identical to her. Maybe she had a twin.. and they had locked her in that place... "God i must really be losing my mind" She muttered again as she slowly but a little hesitantly moved her hand to the same spot as the reflection.

Her reflection only smiled at her, despite Itchiru's confused and shocked questions and attempt at an expression. Keeping her hand in the place where it rested. No words were given from the reflection, No explanation...There didn't need to be..All that mattered was that she was curious enough to go with it. The reflection kept looking at Itchiru it was just a matter of time before she would be free, to be out of this twisted world she had been trapped in..

As she watched Itchiru lift her hand, slowly..hesitantly toward the glass parting them...She waited patiently...As her fingers finally touched against the cool glass, something else began to happen....Suddenly the glass began to ripple, form and change. It was as if it were water beneath her touch and not cold glass like she had expected it to be. Itchiru's fingers slowly slip in into the water like surface of the mirror, and she could be feel a grasp on her hand as the reflection grabbed her hard and suddenly.. Itchiru gasped and started to fight against the reflection that were pulling her in, her heart beating faster in a slight panic.

The reflection were strong, pulling her in by her arm as she seeped into the mirror more and more...Suddenly, the reflection pulled with greater force. It was throwing her body forward and into the mirror making her land on the other side whit a thud, Dust were flowing around her and Itchiru looked around a little. The world seemed the same around her, only in the opposite direction... Things only slightly different...Her reflection stared at her, a smile spreading wide across her ruby lips that turned into a twisted grin of satisfaction.

"Thank you..." The reflection whispered with a soft but slightly bone chilling giggle, Itchiru watched as the reflection suddenly disappearing through the mirror. It was as if she had just melted away. No she didn't melt away as Itchiru watched the reflection appear on the other side of the glass. They were switched, and her reflection were gazing at her and examine her. "You have given me something I have been waiting for a long time for..." She said and smirked down at Itchiru.

"W...Why did you drag me in here... Who are you" Itchiru asked as she looked up at the reflection, The reflection how ever seemed amused whit her cried and desperation... "Please don't leave me here..Why are you doing this..." The reflection only tilted it's head slightly, the same cold smile still across her lips. She the fear which was clear in Itchiru's face and how she slammed her hands and her fists smacking against the glass could be heard on that side of the mirror. But it did nothing...Not even a scratch on the now solid mirror, it wouldn't ever do anything...Unless they were to touch again.. "I am you...And I am not you at the same time...I am Urichti." The Reflection said and laugh slightly at her words, which sounded slightly strange to explain to her.

Urichti's voice sounded...twisted...An evil glint in her crimson eyes as she gazed at down on Itchiru. "I have been trapped in there...for so long...Now it's my time to roam this side of the world...And I will get my revenge..." She said and cackled, grasping at the thick white fabric sheet that Itchiru had tugged off the mirror before. "Now...forget this world...For you won't ever return to it again..." Urichti whispered whit a twisted evil smile on her lips looking directly into Itchiru's terror filled eyes.

Tears ran down Itchiru's cheeks as she looked at the reflection from inside the mirror world, "Please... Don't leave me here...I beg of you.." she asked low as she had her head against the mirror.. all was so confusing so scaring that it sent chills down her spine. She looked at Urichti as she watched her grab the white cover "No...No dot please..." But then it was to late.. She watched as the mirror became black as Urichti threw the blanket over the mirror, and the world on the other side would slowly disappear beneath it. Now there was nothing in the reflection of the mirror besides blackness....She was cut off...from her world...and now stuck in this twisted mirror world...A world totally opposite of her own...Yet the same....

After sitting on the floor and crying for a while as all her attempts of getting on the other side of the mirror had failed, she could hear foot steps coming her way...Heavy and hard against the wooden floor as they began to ring from the hall outside of the door in her new world. Someone was coming.. Itchiru looked at the door leading into the room she was now in.. She could hear some one... Or some thing come here way, her heart speed up as she had no idea what to expect from this new twisted world. She looked around but of cores there was no were to hide so she stood still..Her eyes on the door as she watched the door handle get pushed down....

Reviews

[Meat of Dog]

Good jump jumping into the story. Raising questions about what is going on, right from the beginning, is a good way to pull readers in. The idea of her reflection and the mirror was really interesting. Kudos for the 3rd person omniscient POV (my personal favorite). I feel like we need a little more context at the beginning of this story. It happens a little bit too fast and we know nothing really about Itchiru, so I don’t feel the proper suspense for what is happening to her. Rather, I feel neutral about both her and her reflection. I get that her reflection is supposed to be evil, but I don’t have a sympathetic feeling for Itchiru because of this. At the same time, I get really freaked out by vulnerability and entrapment horror so you did a good job. When she threw the blanket over the mirror I was like NOOO!

Suggestions:
~“night, it was” I would end the sentence after ‘night’ and start a new one.
~There are quite a few instances where you capitalized a word at the beginning of a sentence as needed, but you ended the previous sentence with a comma instead of a period.
~“any one there” Anyone.
~” thought to her self as” Herself.
“Dust were flowing” Dust was.
“she could hear foot steps” Footsteps.
“of cores there” Course.

[Spirit_Raven101]

Thank you for the rewiew, im glad you like the story and that you think i didi a good job :)

[Mila]

Very nice! Had a House of Night feel to it, which I noticed that others have also seen as well. I applaud you for that, I love that series as well!

Notes here:

1. "...was strange how she had came to be there..." should be changed to "...how she had come to be..."

2. "...outside, It was dark..." should be "it". I saw a few more random capitalization in this, so I would suggest going through and looking out for those. I make those mistakes sometimes as well. :)

3. "it had been 3..." beginning of the sentence, so "It" should be capitalized. Saw this quite a bit too so, again, proof read to catch these. When I first started writing, this was a mistake I made a LOT and people gave me Hell for it! XD

4. "...excited, They had told her..." again, it should be "they". I noticed this mostly after commas, so watch out for that.

5. You seem to use a lot of ellipses. I do as well from time to time, but to avoid redundancy, try to limit your use of them. Sometimes they add pauses and breaks where they aren't needed.

6. ""I must be losing my mind" " comma after "mind". I saw a few more syntax errors in this way throughout, so proof reading and watching out for those helps.

For the most part, anything else I noticed has something to do with what is listed above. If anything, I highly recommend proof reading! Above all, this was a very enjoyable read, and I can't wait to read on and see what else is there!
Well done! :)

-Mila

[Spirit_Raven101]

Thank you yes i know i have some errors here and there lol, im happy my fiance will help me whit that when he comes to visit :) im happy you enjoyed the first chapter and hope you will enjoy the other ones to come as well.

[Arrinae]

Is this a fanfiction relatied to 'House of Night'? If so, I approve. Its definetly interesting, though the mark of Nyx always appears on the center of the forehead. Extra tattoo appearences show extra blessings and interest from Nyx.

[Spirit_Raven101]

No not exactly, tough i do have some things from the house of night lol, I truly love those series and they were the ones that inspired me about the mark and so on. this is more a random story that entered my mind out of no wear so its a original mixed whit some ideas i picked up here and there. I do hope you will enjoy reading it as i had been working on it for a long time.

[Arrinae]

I'm sure I will. ^_^ and I'm a HoN fan too. I can't wait to get my hands on the newest book, but it may be while till I can.

[Spirit_Raven101]

I know the feeling :D

[Malister Mikey]

Good work on the chapter hun the storyline is quite good it dragged me in right away,
since I have already read further in previous version of this story I can not be to curious to what is to happen, but you did an overall good job and I enjoyed the read.

Suggestions:
Itchiru was walking trough the halls of her school at night, ( through
whit a tear droop falling from it (with a teardrop falling from it
annoyence making her get locked up in a room (annoyance
were they had made her take a lot of test so manifest her powers. ( where & after so I would put they could
and looked at her self ( I would put herself
a moment the reflection thought to her self as she watched Itchiru.. (herself
In this dark copy-cat of a world. ( copycat
Itchiru looked at her self in the reflection (herself
some one in here would talk to her (someone
at her self but then looked shocked as she saw the reflection (herself
She asked softly to her self ( herself
making her land on the other side whit a thud, (with
reflection how ever seemed amused whit her (with
she could hear foot steps coming her way. ( footsteps
Or some thing come here (something
of cores there was no were to hide so she stood still (nowhere