Since You've Been Gone {Brotherly Love #4}

A letter to my little brother....

The darkness cloaks my shoulders like a comfy winter coat,
a scream's lodged in my mouth it's like there's something in the throat,
I ride the night just tryna make some sense of newest dawn,
it's been like that cause nothing's been the same since you've been gone.

I question what my purpose is if not to be deceased,
like how someone gets murdered when they're tryna bring the peace,
your death has hit me harder than an uppercut or two,
we fought but never questioned love like how real brothers do.

I'm drowning in my anger while my heart is hollow; cold,
I'm so scared Little Brother that I may get swallowed whole,
there's so much I could tell you it would be a lot to know,
my subconscience is fumbling trying not to drop control.

I weep more times than not when certain songs play in my head,
I close my eyes and see you when I go lay in my bed,
your memory's alive which means no one can slay the dead,
the whole fam's in agreement that you should've stayed instead,

of being sent to Heaven way too long before your time,
I hope to see my nephews grow as men before it's mine,
but at the rate I'm going bruh the pain'll end it all,
I'm just not sure the hurt inside will ever end at all.

I guess I just feel guilty like your passing was my fault,
I should've been a better older brother to a fault,
but since I can't go back the only thing is to repent,
and reminisce about the crazy lifetime that we spent,

together and apart cause you're forever in my heart,
it's like I'm in a room and pulling levers in the dark,
it's pushed me to the brink of where my eyes may close with floods,
of tears that I drop daily we're forever bros in blood.

Eternity.

©2014
The Cunning Linguist

Author's Note

The fourth piece in my "Brotherly Love" series finds me taking a more conversational tone with my brother. I've been told that I talk to him in my sleep, so I wrote this to him as if we were on the phone together.