Ashen love

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The saddest sight

I never saw -

Your foot 

scrabbling remorsefully 

in the hearth

of our love

- cold ashes where

once a fire raged

which outshone 

the Sun

for us

Now spent -

bereft of any fuel

It died quickly

sending us spinning

like dark pulsars

to the opposite

ends of 

Life

Reviews

[lightsong]

Your style here reminds me with my own at some of my poems, You used one brilliant image, and left the range of emotions to be felt through each verse, though there is only gloominess and ultimate despair, emptiness... but You started with a plea, though it will hurt to see it... but somehow this little flicker of hope still hanging on there, up at the start.

Well written, I could feel the state when Love dies, Thank You*

[Tony Jordan]

self delusion unfortunately Light
thank you for reviewing this one
:)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I feel the movement here of two hearts, noth positively charged, sadly repelling each other through time and space. Great metaphor and imagery-"your foot scrabbling remorsefully in the hearth of our love"-stellar, poignant verse. Kudos!

[wordman]

i`m sure this sad write relates to a lot of people,
touching

[Tony Jordan]

An eternal tale of woe
Thanks WM.

[Lydia Shutter]

A sad story, but one that many can relate to. Great metaphor. Lydi**

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you Lydia.
x

[andrew mitchell]

Yes love is a lot like boxing, if it doesn't work you go back to opposite corners, it just takes 12 rounds to find out and maybe after a knockout! Lovely wording Tony I like dark pulsars!

[Tony Jordan]

Love can be a fight - the best relationships probably are (it indicates passion hasn't went out of it?)
Thank you Andrew

[Jimmy Yetts]

Masterfully apt metaphors.
Portrays a profoundly painful familiarity with lost love.
No bullshit, here.

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you Jimmy.

[Ken Simm.]

Sadness and excellent metaphor tony. This is very well done.

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you Ken.

[Alisa Js]

What an incredibly sad way to say goodbye...

Without reason or rhyme is what this piece spoke to me about. So many unanswered questions, so many whys...

Alisa

[Tony Jordan]

I think you've hit it spot on Alisa. The breakup was sparked by paranoia on one side and ego on the other both of which could probably be put down to immaturity.
Thanks for reviewing this one my dear friend
I hope all is well out Pacific-ways?
(hugs)

[Alisa Js]

Thank you for asking.. it is wonderful to be alive...

Each day is a gift reminding us to be present...

Sending you smiles across the miles between us...

((((hugs)))

Alisa

[Tony Jordan]

Tis a gift indeed.
Love live laugh. Speaking of laugh - How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker bought him for his birthday? He felt his present(s).

x

[Alisa Js]

lol Makes perfect sense...

[Jibey]

This feels like the way a friend we both had has blocked me without any explanation - and after a relationship which seemed to be built on trust. The cold ashes of rejection are very hurtful.

[Tony Jordan]

No one needs to provide an explanation Jibey. That's people for you. Rejection is a double-edged sword though. Thanks for calling and reviewing :)

[Rachel]

The flow of this poem is easy to read with a nice flow, but the heartbreak throughout it is so evident. I liked the metaphors you used.

[Tony Jordan]

It did come from a dark and cold memory. Thank you again Rachel. I appreciate your reviews.