It happened

The day she said 'it's over'...

When my life paused

when my blood froze

when the dam in my eyes burst

when the world reverted into a frightening place

when                          re-filled the void

when I lowered my head again

when I felt so lonely

when you said goodbye

Reviews

[ReedWrite]

There is nothing like that emptiness when you lose someone, whether its from a love union that's run its course, or a loved one passing...it's so hard to let go and face each day knowing their life force will not be a part of your world anymore. Your words are simple, but poignant. They touch the heart like an uber sharp pin, pricking just enough to draw that glistening drop of blood. Well penned, my friend.

[Tony Jordan]

I invest it all Pam. I'm the guy at the roulette wheel or at the craps table shoving all the chips onto one number - but not that good at losing nor letting go nor revisiting the pain. Getting there - a wee bit at a time though - as we all do.
Thank you dear Pam - it's great to see you !
:))

[Tabby Mac]

This is heart wrenching! Tons of emotion here! And it brought tons emotion to me! Amazing job! This is about a break up I believe but it works for death too that is what it brought to my mind. But...break ups do feel like death so...well captured and expressed!
Tabby

[Giulia King]

Short but so dark and powerful! Great job on this one, TJ! I really like it :)

[Tony Jordan]

You're always welcome Gullia.
Sorry it took so long to reply ;)

I appreciate your reviews very much.
:)

[Roxana Lica]

i love everything about this poem, the choice of words, lay out; everything. It also makes me feel guilty because as a female, i was always the one saying 'goodybye'...btw i don't want to be rude but i was notified you gave me a review and it's not coming up? maybe it got deleted? anyways good work, i'm checking the rest out too

[Tony Jordan]

I'm sorry that you deleted my review Roxana. I can't think why?
Was I too terse? If so I apologise.

Feel free to check out the rest - Thanks for the warning lol xD

[Alex Ware]

Short but paralyzing. When the world reverted to a frighting place..in many ways it does.

[Tony Jordan]

Yeah - the dark returned with vengeance
Thank you for reviewing this one Alex
:)

[Ken Simm.]

The reader will connect with this on so many levels. I know I did. Sad but written with remarkable insight my friend.

[Tony Jordan]

Your a gentleman and a scholar - I mean that Ken
Thanks
Sorry for taking this long to reply.
:)

[Ken Simm.]

Ah go away wi yer. You are more than welcome an didnae fesh yerself.

[Tony Jordan]

Irvine Welsh - I love your stuff !!
I love when you spraff about the port and the barry town of Leith

[Ken Simm.]

De ye mind its the William Mcgonnigall you'll be after nae bother.
Oh glorious bridge over the river Tay!

[Tony Jordan]

Wil see us over here, us Belfast folk? We spake a bit like yerselves - but wir no class - cuz wer just pure ruff - ruff as sin.

I'm busted on pancakes mate. lol

[Ken Simm.]

A Belfast mate was always sayin "Stickin owt" Whatever that meant. Me I'm pure Lanky, except me Mum was Yorkshire but we dont' mention that. So me it was all thee's and thous until I was about 14. Tha's abart as much use as yon one legged mun in an arse kickin contest. Was typical. So you think you are ruff.
William Mcgonnigall was the worst poet in the world and a great favourite of Spike Milligan.

[Tony Jordan]

Stickin out was a lower middle-class term for things being good or great. I never heard it said 'round my way' lol. We would say 'sound as a pound' or 'dead on' for the same sentiment. Stickin out and 'Bout ye?' were two terms that were acceptable to and adopted by the N.I. Tourist Board as 'Norn Iron spake.'

I loved the 'thees' and 'thous' of Last of The Summer Wine. I found it hard to follow sometimes though. We can be totally understandable if we slow down our way of talking to a crawl and stop sounding so irate lol.
Got that McGonnigall message - he was bold as brass wasn't he? No wonder he tickled Spike.

[mercy party]

this is one of those things that i understand, but then also realize i may have no right to. Through your words i can see that you are stunned. so i guess that makes this a stunning poem!

[Tony Jordan]

Yup - stunned is right M.P.
Sorry it's taken so long to reply.
Thank you for your words my friend.
:)

[.]

Hmmm. The sorrow of a parting lover; always a difficult time.

I usually don't fancy constant repetition of words in a piece, but in this case it seems to add more emotion and poignancy to the poem.

A nice little write, Tony. Something we can all relate to.

[Tony Jordan]

Hi Doodley - good to see you - my apologies for the tardiness in thanking you for your review of this one. I know sometimes repitition can grate, it does for me too at times.
Thank you so much.
:)

[Enigma Monster]

You nailed it. I can feel it. Very powerful writing Tony.

[Tony Jordan]

I hope you're well E.M
Sorry its taken a week to thank you for your review - I do appreciate you.
:)

[Enigma Monster]

Don't be silly, you don't need to apologize for not saying thanks:)