Balance

Once known as mania or manic depression now known as BPD and BiPolar

I'm dancing

singing

laughing

Colours drip with vibrancy

Sounds reverberate with manifold reflections 

until they are devoid of energy

The flavour of all foods pirhouette along my taste buds

Touch my skin and I will tell you your name

I thirst

I hunger

I desire 

I love

But 

then 

I descend 

dropping at 

freefall to the depths where nothing 

registers but black, dark and bland, numb and negative 

hate takes the place of love; 

where people's thoughts are mine-fields and their bodies 

are putrid decompositions. My own the worst of all.

crying

fearing

sleeping awake

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Well Tony. This is a subject close to my professional heart having been a mental health professional for most of my career. You capture in this the real flavours of the highs and lows of the disorder which is such a debilitating condition. Although in saying so there are many highly creative people who have experienced such fluctuations in their emotions and it fuels their creativity. And it is in any case simply an exaggeration of the normal mood swings moist people experience. Nicely done. Desire twice in the first stanza? Perhaps for emphasis of ther swirling carousel of thoughts?

[Tony Jordan]

I agree John - it is a creative source for many sufferers. I know one woman who declined medicinal efforts for many years because she sadi that exact thing - that she lost her will to create, which for a painter was devastating but more devastating was the eventual rapid-cycling that took place and a near-suicide.

I missed that duplication - thank you so much. 245 views later lol...
:)

[AYVID N]

Brilliant portrayal of manic depressive.

I like manic. I want manic. I smile a lot, so chatty, go through an entire online retail shop, finish all my work, exercise, go out AND write a poem or two! Then there are days in bed and I cant think or do a thing. Frozen!

Great work Tony!

[AYVID N]

I agree the plateaus would be killing. Like a chemical lobotomy. What I do when I get low is take some Modafinil. It keeps me going full steam 24 hours ;)

You are welcome Tony.

[Jimmy Yetts]

For many years, I had a business partner who was bipolar.
He put us both through hell. (Rarely took his medicine.)
Reason--which is all I know--never served to allay his unending depressive fears nor his whimsical excesses during mania.
A profoundly perceptive--indeed, exceptional-- piece of work, Tony!

[Tony Jordan]

I can imagine how difficult that must have been Jimmy. Impulsiveness overrules reason every-time.read moreI can imagine how difficult that must have been Jimmy. Impulsiveness overrules reason every-time.
I always felt it was like tuning into a higher frequency, but not necessarily a more intelligent one :S

Thank you Jimmy.

[SporadicMessanger]

Really good, speaks to the heart. This is great!

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you SporadicMessanger.

[Valentine]

Tony, perhaps the diaganosis is often over used. There was no name for my little brother and his moods are still getting to him and he is getting greys in his hair. Valentine

[Tony Jordan]

There is no panacea. So little is known about it. Has he tried Grecian 2000?

[Tony Jordan]

Sorry just being a little BRAT there.
I mean there's no panacea for moods and mental illness but the money is finally being given over to research in the field. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kathie...
:))

[Ken Simm.]

This, I know is the very hardest balancing act it is possible for a human being to do.
For that reason amongst others I am as impressed as I can be with this.
It is first of all insightful. It is also empathic. It is compassionate both to others and to itself. It is a damn fine poem about the deeps and the heights as I have ever and I do mean ever, seen. I bow to you Sir.

[Tony Jordan]

My friend said once to me (we were both mid-bender and very very drunk, lol) that we always pay - the balance is always struck somehow or other. Thank you very much Ken you made my day my friend. :)

[Lovecraft]

A very accurate portrayal, my favorite Moon Faced Onion! ;)

I like how the font changes color as it goes from manic to depressive, it's very well done and quite clear.

Good work. :)

[Tony Jordan]

Thanks Lc.
The colour red was to show how the debts are accrued in the manic phase that are paid for later - the books are balanced by the 'blackness' suffered.
I appreciate your thoughts my friend.
:))

[Aishwarya Prem]

I really liked this one :) watching out for more

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you Aishwarya - I'm glad you like this one. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a Plath parallel...she was like this...from the highest high to the lowest low in a split second...

i like that wide stanza on top of the single word effect...

the stress shown...the burden of thoughts.

[Tony Jordan]

I was going for an hourglass look - concrete poetry, I think. To show that it keeps happening over and over (the hourglass flips)
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this one Jacob. Thank you.
:)

[mercy party]

i recently heard this being referred to as "emotionally ticklish." I don't know about you but that sends me right to the non- red half of your feking poem! although it is kind of a cute way to try to understand! you are very insightful man, i've read a lot of your work, you really represent the non "normies" boldly and bravely! carry on.

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you M.P.
You're review has made me very proud of this one.
:)

[Re-Pete]

hmm. balance at the poles. up and down like a teeter-totter. very exhausting. creatively captured. strong, powerful, emotional lucid imagery. effective.

[Tony Jordan]

An attempt at 'concrete' poetry Pete.
Thank you very much for your kind review my friend.read moreAn attempt at 'concrete' poetry Pete.
Thank you very much for your kind review my friend.
:)