Words Fail me

When a word gets lost in the wash with the mind's socks

Come over and I'll tell thee about a strange happening that occurred next door in broad daylight -

So ...I'd seen this guy acting suspicious outside

the front of 'Her next door''s house.

...the slick looking guy ran up to her door -

He looked like a typical smarmy perv.

He rapped on the woman's door 

Soon, the woman of the house came out 

Just then, he shocked her by taking out

his...thing.

Well she took one look at the thing

and almost fainted 

it was much bigger than normal... things 

a look of disbelief painted her face

again she looked in awe at the... thing.

Then she took the... thing in her hands !!

and examined it closely

It has some raised bumps along its length

Then she tried to fold the...thing but couldn't - 

It was much too large and stiff!!

It was longer and wider than her hubby's...thing

which she always managed to slide between her 

ample bosom on a Friday night 

after he'd had a few drinks and was feeling generous

- or so he told me anyway.

But - she hugged the...thing close to her 

I don't think anything could have angered her.

Oh how she laughed and kept kissing the...thing and the man 

was smiling from ear to ear too

He even wanted a selfie of her and him together like that

~

I tell ya - never was a...thing 

more welcome !!!

*  *  *  *

damn these senior moments - I can't remember some words at all these days

Oh yeah, cheque...that's the word - cheque - the thing was a huge cheque.

'Her next door' had won the lottery. Lucky cow!

Author's Note

How far did you get in before you realised what the thing was eh?
OMG - captcha was Honeypot - damn !! lmao

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I never thought of this "thing" as being anything other than what you are trying to suggest that it might be. Once I got to the end, so I could see how this added detail fit into the write, I couldn't see any bumps in the fit. But I still wasn't 100% behind this final outcome . . . maybe just a teensy bit of a letdown, really. It was a bit much ado over almost nothing. Maybe a big fat wad of cash would have more sensual appeal for me.

[Tony Jordan]

A big fat wad of cash...?
Hmmm... I like it BG.
It's got legs lol.
Thank you - I love this review.
:)

[Jimmy Yetts]

Never guessed exactly what it was, Tony, but I knew, right away, it wasn't a penis. (I write stuff, too.)
Still, "Words Fail Me" is extremely well done.
Thoroughly entertaining work, poet!

[Tony Jordan]

Aha... you know a penis when you don't see one.
Lol
I'm chuffed that you like these scribs Jimmy.

[Ken Simm.]

I couldn't help myself. I think I said Waaaa!

[Tony Jordan]

Haha - oh the shame - I have reduced one of - if not the - most eloquent penman on this here site what we belongs to - (nod to Eric and Ernie) - to an onomatopoeic trumpet noise.
Forgive me Ken. Im just codding.
Thank you - is waaaaa I meant to say ;p

[Ken Simm.]

I meant I was oooh. Or even somewhat arrgh. Perhaps looking at it another way nnnnning. but then there is an arguement for saying wowee bling tip ftang ftang ole biscuit barrel.

[Tony Jordan]

KS have you been watching Klunk from 'Catch the Pigeon' again. What did your psychiatrist tell you about that ? lmao

[Tony Jordan]

Nah - you are wayy funnier
"...ole biscuit barrel..." indeed
How very dare you.

[Ken Simm.]

Matron says I have to go in for my tablets now and then have my quiet time on the school maggot. See you later.

[Tony Jordan]

Yep
Tell Stanley Unwin I said high.
(sorry getting bugged for 10 chars)

[Ken Simm.]

Let me just say in passing that time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

[Tony Jordan]

hey thats starting to hurt my brain lol - you no play fair

[Ken Simm.]

Thank you, goodnight and stop doing that its silly.

[Tony Jordan]

It's good for the aura - so I hear.
No sorry my keyboards has ran out of capital 'm's- it's good for maura. that's it

[Pete]

How 'bout a salesman with an unbrella/brolly? Or a sausage/banger? LOL

[Tony Jordan]

It could at that. I know lots of ladies who put their husbands sausage/banger down their cleavage on a Friday night. Who doesn't? lol
Thak you for humouring this eejit Pete. I appreciate your playing along and especially commenting on it.

[Pete]

Welcome Tony.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you got me on this one....not till the very end...:)

clever.

[Tony Jordan]

Haha - oh Jacob - what's to become of me my friend?
Thank you very much for indulging me.
read moreHaha - oh Jacob - what's to become of me my friend?
Thank you very much for indulging me.
I am grateful.