i'm getting that same sense of fear again, but it's not common fear, it is a fear attached to admiration and love? im reluctant to use that word because it's not actual love? there's some form of attachment between the two but i cannot comprehend it, i think i'm ending up on the same point as Daydreamer...yeah that's right, it's either love or lust
Strikes me as a rather unhappy place to be.
The piece does, however, qualify as high-level poetry.
Outstanding, Tony!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
It's definitely not the ideal situation Jimmy no.
Your review is very flattering - thank you .. read moreIt's definitely not the ideal situation Jimmy no.
Your review is very flattering - thank you my friend.
I love this! The idea of you orbiting around the lover's eyes was a lovely description of your gravitation towards her.
I love the way it starts off as a love poem, but takes me down to something I didnt really expect. I felt like it went really south as I read, which was cool.
I loved the first stanza as well. It really gives the reader a look into the world of this narrator.
Good job.
Thanks for sharing! Have a great day!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
It kinda depicts the actual journey from friends to I guess, more than friends then more than friend.. read moreIt kinda depicts the actual journey from friends to I guess, more than friends then more than friends in one mind but not in the others then complete disaster and hatred so the feelings you got were probably close enough a ride to the real thing Jazz Lover - thank you for such a detailed and valuable review.
I hope you had a great week and Happy Holidays!!
Disheartening yet written beautifully. The descriptions are eloquent and I like the "orbiting of the stars" most of all, waiting for the day things might be different. It's never easy giving your heart to another only to have them hand it back, sometimes in pieces. Thank you for sharing this connectable piece.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I'm sorry for missing this review Jack. I can be very ...ditsy...for a guy. I wish the site owners w.. read moreI'm sorry for missing this review Jack. I can be very ...ditsy...for a guy. I wish the site owners would install a little routine that lets you know if you've acknowledged all the reviews that people have been kind enough to leave but that havent been replied to. (Are ya listening Site owners?? lol)
I guess handing someone a heart who probably didnt want it in the first place is the height of wishful idiocy anyways. It's like someone a chef coming up to you in a restaurant and going - "Eat the fish I prepared!!" and despite you keep telling them to stick their fish where the sun don't cast shadows, they keep on saying "Eat the fish! Try the lovely fish!"
Idk what I'm going on about so I'll just say Thank You Jack for reading and commenting on this one. I do appreciate the reviews and know how lucky I am to get them (especially with a current average of 4 reviews per 100 views !! lol)
Is it love or lust? Perhaps excessive admiration.. I've learned that an unrequited love hurts most when we put those on a pedestal, and then when we come back down to Earth we realize, love in its purest essence doesn't hurt.. I adored this piece, it was really special :)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Love or lust! Hmmm
You've really given me food for thought Daydreamer and probably saved me a.. read moreLove or lust! Hmmm
You've really given me food for thought Daydreamer and probably saved me a fortune in wasted sentiments too. Lol
Thank you for this invaluable review. I deeply appreciate it!!
:)
Yes, this indeed cuts very deep. Fantastic imagery - 'binary stars ; ...make my bones crack'. Flows very smoothly. Great ending. Love can hurt, or as J. Geils sang, 'Love Stinks'. A gripping write all around.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Lmao @ 'Love stinks' - excellent reference Pete.
A delicacy in Australia is known as 'vomit f.. read moreLmao @ 'Love stinks' - excellent reference Pete.
A delicacy in Australia is known as 'vomit fruit' - lol. We are often drawn to things we shouldn't be.
Thank you muchly my friend.
7 Years Ago
'vomit fruit' - I think I had a piece of that for lunch today. lmao.
*retches* - bleurrrrrrgh... don't, my gag reflex is s**t poor
lol
7 Years Ago
I'm laughing so hard - the people around me think I'm nuts and I can barely type.
7 Years Ago
did you say 'already think you're nuts'...?
They'll be saying - 'uh-oh I bet that vomit fruit.. read moredid you say 'already think you're nuts'...?
They'll be saying - 'uh-oh I bet that vomit fruit he ate has tipped him over the edge'...lmao
This one speaks to me of one heart that cares and another who couldn't care less. Not a good combination for true love, sadly.
Nicely written.
Alisa
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you for your thoughts Alisa
Some trespasses are unworthy of forgiveness perhaps.
7 Years Ago
I have heard it said, that love covers a multitude of sins...
Within love, there is t.. read moreI have heard it said, that love covers a multitude of sins...
Within love, there is that forgiveness if one is willing. The key issue is 'if' that person is willing. Most times, not...
But have you ever wondered what would have happened if, it was?
Some relationships are restored and the two hearts continue for years, even decades... and find they can compromise and work together, while others...
carry on for years, even decades.. with such bitterness and anger that serves no one, especially not those who are around that person who refuses to forgive.
Just some thoughts I had, for what they're worth.
Wishing you well.
Alisa
7 Years Ago
I have heard that wallpaper does that too in it's own way.
Thank you for your thoughts - they.. read moreI have heard that wallpaper does that too in it's own way.
Thank you for your thoughts - they are deeply appreciated.
Ditto Alisa
Well there's some in that list that I never even thought of - what are you an expert coverer of stuf.. read moreWell there's some in that list that I never even thought of - what are you an expert coverer of stuff?
lol
Just writing to get it out
My avatar is an actual slice of an onion that I cut up and I kept and froze - it reminds me of the saying - If you don't laugh, you cry. more..