Masquerade

Though so well I hide,
And my life's a masquerade
Though, evеrytime I cried
And told: "That's charade"

Though many times I said:
"Don't believe my tears
My heart has never bled,
I'm cold, I have not fears"

Though acted as the happiest, see
Wore wide deceitful smile
When heard : "Go, live without me"
I thought : WIll it be worthwhile?

How easily can world colapse
When heard:"Get out of sight!"
You know, on the church steps
The atheist cried.

Though thought soul's eternal,
When heard:"Forever goodbye"
Stopped the song vernal,
Eternal soul died.

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

I love the interplay between what's on the outside and what's on the inside, and the title is perfect. There are lines that stick with me they resonate so well: "you know on the church steps, the atheist cried" and "though every time I cried and told that's charade"- these express the feelings so well, such a desperate loneliness and forlorn in rejection, in being misunderstood by someone who cannot see beneath the surface. How many times we are rejected by those not worthy of seeing our souls! Such a sad, beautiful story of this person's experience of the world collapsing due to mean, hateful words like "get outt of my sight". And such a true telling of many people's experience of life. Poignant and sad, I loved this poem, and send love to the person whose soul is lost in the torment of feeling forever, eternity, is nothing but a sham. Thank you.

[barleygirl]

I like when a writer takes some relatable concept like "hiding behind a mask" and then shows us several scenarios that give us specific examples of how this looks . . . rather than explaining anything, just showing. That's the fundamental way of good writing: SHOW, don't tell. Your rhyme scheme is fairly sophisticated & well-done. A few of your noun-verb relationships sound a little clunky (example: "see wore wide deceitful smile"). Overall, thought provoking.