Beat the devil..

All ye in strife take note

Old Morris McHugh works for the revenue

makes sure all working folk pay taxes,

so loves his job, most proficient

the more he aquires, the more he climaxes 

Whatever folk earn, he'll gleefully intern

this spurious man devoid of a heart,

mean Morris McHugh, loves to tax you

money quaffing official, hard to outsmart

But I work the system, much to his chagrin

he can stuff tax, where sun don't shine,

a failsafe plan, zero tax goes to that man

assisted by my chickens and grunting swine

I told the old crank, no money in my bank

so can't be taxed if earnings are nil

eggs and bacon for sale, cash on the nail

stashed under mattress, thus no tax bill

And should Mr McHugh, visit my home, no. 22

he may accidently fall into a vat of rye,

be ground up mushy, fed to hens, pigs unfussy

hence no body, no crime, corpus delicti!

( corpus delicti - the body of evidence that constitute the offence; the objective proof that a crime has been committed (sometimes mistakenly thought to refer to the body of a homicide victim)

Author's Note

Please don't report me, I'm only kidding!!

Reviews

[Marie]

You beat the ol' devil, Tom. You were way ahead of him! A well penned humourous write which gave me giggles as I read and I'm still laughing! Poor ol' Mr. McHugh was only doing his job, Tom. I bet you he was a very nice person outside of office hours? You narrate the tale so well, you are a born storyteller! Can't wait to read your next poem! I know it will be even more funny, Tom. Thank you for sharing, dear poet. Lovely work, as always...

[Tom]

Thank you Marie, I've edit/rewrote poem as it was penned last night while I was more than slightly . inebriated so makes more sense now.. I hope?

[Chris Shaw]

This is such a fun write Tom. We are all paying far too much tax at the moment. You appear to have found a solution and of course we won’t report you. We may copy you though:) Bravo.

Chris

[Tom]

Lol,,, Thanks Chris, yea, taxes much too high but ain't that the times we live in?

[Chris Shaw]

Absolutely the way. We could do with a change, but who will deliver that change sensibly ?? lol. I’m not convinced any of em can do it:)

[Neville]

It's the way that he tells em, isn't it folks .. always relevant and invariably topical (at least since his cricket composition days of yore) and always with a moral or some incredible unexpected twist .. I think him a near genius & my eyes just fell in love with the font he used here .. Well worthy of the dubble 👍👍just awarded .. Neville

[Tom]

Many thank-you's Neville and yep, you got me Sir!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The tax collectors haven't gained any love since the Roman times and it's doubtful they ever will. I liked the plan...sounds like something Hannibal Lector might do. (laughing) I enjoyed the read.

[Tom]

Thank you Fabian!

[andrew mitchell]

Great write Tom, enjoyed the jibe on paying taxes, the cost of living is a predicament so who wants taxes and income tax.

[Tom]

Thank you Andrew!

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha great humor ... wonderful rhyme and rhythm my friend .. strong social commentary that resonates big time, says i! it's not just Fed. Income Tax .. it's a whole lot more .. gas, alcohol, luxury, cigarette, tax tax tax .. arrrght! by the time we put a buck in the wallet it is so moth eaten it disappears like puff ball mushroom fungus in the wind .. makes he think we need another Tea Party .. thanks for the very fine poem, Tom ...
E.

[Tom]

Thank you E, Yea, Tea party sounds good to moi, I'll have a few Irish coffees if that'll be ok?

[Einstein Noodle]

Irish is always a fine thing! :))))))))

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Tom
A very well written , sarcastic piece…..in the U.S . If we don’t pay our taxes, we go to prison! No bartering….but I like your idea of hiding the cash and soaking him in rye if he dare come close
Very witty🌷
Warmly, B

[Tom]

Many belated thank you's Betty!!

[Betty Hermelee]

you are very welcome Tom
Warmly, B🌷🌷

[Vol]

Tom,
Where I live, Of my year of earnings, EVERYTHING I make until June goes to the Government. Between Income, property, sales, gasoline, car, social security, medicare, and a bunch of others, that are hidden and buried, my a*s is totally kicked...
Thanks for the reminder...
Vol
Vol

[Tom]

Yea, we understand each other, thank you Vol!

[Marie]

The rewrite is a superb version of your original poem, Tom. It is still very humorously penned and I know you will probably never again speak to me for saying this, but that's a chance I am willing to take, lol... I actually prefer the first version. It gave me more laughs and I enjoyed it more than the newer version. You still tell the story admirably well, but I don't find it as funny! That's just me, Tom and I know everybody who reads this poem will thoroughly enjoy it as I have. Thank you for sharing, Tom. Lovely work!

[Tom]

Thanks again Marie, maybe I should write more poems when on the whiskey?? 😂😂😂

[Marie]

Laughing! I must try it sometime, Tom. Would be an interesting experiment! Thank you so much...

[Sami Khalil]

What goes around will come around; tax the middle class and the rich, exempt the poor in my opinion; they need every dollar, pound to survive if not more.
This was witty with a good message Tom.

[Tom]

Thank you Sami, always pleasing to have you visit and leaving your perceptive insight on my little poetic writes!!

[Sami Khalil]

Yes siiiirrrrr. You are welcome sir

[Andra Davis]

So many end up poor. These guys need mean tricks to dissappear. Nicely written.

[Tom]

Thank you Andra, I've edit/rewrote poem as it was penned last night while I was more than slightly . inebriated so makes more sense now.. I hope?