You are Old, Skipper !

An somewhat rather curious youth who is in awe of his senior leader !

Said a precocious nipper, to his experienced skipper;

"You are old yet still a cunning critter, 

a very handy hitter, 
you never miss a sitter, 

over point a classy chipper, 
of the pads a crafty clipper! 

And you bowl a deadly dipper, 

a floating flipper, 

mixed with the odd, rotating ripper, 
the batsmen's knees tremble and jitter,

as you run in patter-pitter, 
the only sound a little titter, 

when you release that stealth, stump splitter
to claim another 5 for, or double hat-tricker!
Not forgetting you are a serial,specialist slipper, 
a great fielder, catcher, grabber, gripper!
Pray tell, what makes you such an all round, cracking, cricketer"?

Replied the experienced skipper, to the precocious nipper;

"Now listen  carefully, young snapper-whipper!
Time is much too precious, to throw away or fritter,
for if you choose to wander, or simply be a quitter
you'll end up on the shelf like a moldy kipper
so here are my proven tips, from an expert tipper!
Practice makes perfect and helps get you fitter, 
so don't lay around too long, tweeting on that twitter
sending silly messages, by electronic transmitter!
Avoid smoking, or risk being a cougher and a spitter
though a social beer is recommended, or a pint of bitter
but don't go the way of many and be a steady sipper, 
wasting hard earned money and you may end up in the litter!
Find a supportive wife, who does not nag or nitter, 
enjoys cricket, is domesticated, a thrifty sewer, stitcher, knitter, 
don't fall for the first, who flashes long lashes with a flirtatious flitter!

Finally, enjoy the game and your career will surely glitter, 
but remember, the umpire is the adjudicator, judge, jury, the sole arbiter, 
his decision is final, so please, no back chat or silly chitter 

And if you prove yourself, someday my son, you shall be the skipper”!

Reviews

[Neville]

How on earth did I miss this one until now eh' I ask myself....The principles and lessons that may be learned from these sage like words can apply to all & any sport, oh' and life in general. Am bowled over mate...Hope you are well...........................N

[Tom]

Thank you Neville, yes doing well, how's you?

[Neville]

Hello Stranger....I'm okayish but could be far worse.... where have you been?,,

[Tom]

Have been on another poetry website mostly, but still try do call back here now & again to see my old buddies!! lol..

[Neville]

Do so hope you stick around for a while .....

[barleygirl]

Being a rhyme fanatic myself, you’ve stolen my heart with this extended rapping rhyming riff. I love the overall premise & setup, which is adorable from all directions. Kids would love this & old farts, too. I love the way the first part sounds sassy, as if the young whippersnapper thinks the old guy won’t even get his jive-a*s rhymes . . . but then the old guy outdoes him by performing in an equal stream of rhyme, but also making more sense than the younger one’s message. I find that all the time on this website. The youngsters throw some rhymes, but the message can be weak or fragmented. It takes an old master to throw a continuous rhyming riff & still have important points to make, complete with playful lambaste! This is a precious & memorable piece of writing! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Tom]

Thank you very much barleygirl for your perceptive review!

[Sami Khalil]

A unique and lovely rhyming poem...Thank you for posting...:).................

[Tom]

Thank you Sami !

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).....................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Talk about alliteration Tom. Taken to a very humorous end it had me 'creased' lol and I cannot see cricket as a sport!

[Tom]

Cheers John !

[Sheila Kline]

Tom,

I'm so glad you have brought this up for an edit as I had missed it and am so happy to have the opportunity to now read it as it is such an enjoyable read with wonderful word play, and rhyming and sage advice to boot! I really laughed when I read the lines of what kind of wife to find - "Find a supportive wife, who does not nag or nitter, and note how much larger the font is for these words....on to her qualities; enjoys cricket, is domesticated, a thrifty sewer, stitcher, knitter, and then, so funny: dont fall for the first, who flashes long lashes with a flirtatious flitter! Well, I would have been out of the run for you my friend......giggling!! I am such a flirt and adore being a flirt!

Anywhooooo, your write is wonderful and I just love it!!

Sheila.........flitting my long lashes

[Tom]

Thank you Sheila and don't be so modest my sweet colleen, you tick all my boxes !!

[Sheila Kline]

Whew.............breathing a sigh of relief while asking, "Can you please open the door for me Darling?"........giggling

[Tom]

Never mind open the door, I shall even swim across the Atlantic sea Sheila...just for You !

[Great Aunt Astri]

I can just hear this poem being read to a tattoo of drums. Very Clever poem!

[Tom]

Thank you again Great Aunt Astri, I got the idea for this from a poem by Lewis Carol called 'You are old, Father William' (the young man said), so I decided to make my own version, of course with a cricket theme !!!

[Keith]

That was a whole lot of fun. Obviously a cricket nut. I am enjoying your work Tom. Trying figure whether you are English or Aussie.

[Tom]

Neither mate ! lol

[Tom]

ps Supposed to be playing this afternoon, but see the rain coming.....

[Keith]

mmmmmmm!.........

[Tom]

Northern Irish !

[Keith]

Oops, sorry. I'd figured Northern hemisphere but you don't sound Irish when I read your work.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I particularly liked the language in this one; the way that you conveyed your thoughts through sensory elements and phrasing that employed things like internal rhyme and great syllabic flow. I could feel myself inside of this one; transported to this place. The second to the last stanza really drove things home for me in terms of the emotion behind this one. Very clever and witty.

[Tom]

A belated but as always a big thank you Girl Friday !

[Lydia Shutter]

Not only did the end of your lines rhyme, often I found a surprise rhyme in the middle of a line....which makes the read so enjoyable. While much of this is light hearted and humorous, there is also wise life advice for the "snapper whipper" in this poem. I also liked the occasional change of font size...effective tool! All in all, a very good write. Lydi**

[Tom]

Thanks Lydia, the font size was unintentional although glad it adds to the effect of my wee story! Nice critique btw !

[ShelleyA]

Hi Tom. A good write from this seasoned athlete, leader and expert of a winning cricket team and his ideals and advice to the up and comer. Clever word play. Vivid imagery with good flow and tone. Good rhyme and internal rhyme. Good depth of feeling; I also like the humor of the piece. Good word choice. Nice use of repetition for emphasis on how to become a well developed and winning leader. Well penned. Write on!