"Hallow's Vengeful Pirate"

On Halloween night, a vengeful pirate seeks the home of his mutineer's daughter to exact revenge for his being marooned.

“Hallow’s Vengeful Pirate”

 

by Tommy Guerin

 

            On an unforeseen and me darkest night, while Hallow winds stirred many a fright, I sought the home of me mutineer’s daughter with me hands gripping the revenge I brought her. “There it is,” I said. “The daughter’s house of me mutineer is in sight. Me jar and I are going to scare her tonight. Rehearse, but not madly, n me mind I must, fer fulfilling me vengeance is on the cusp.” 

 

            Trick or treat, me lady! Gasp if ye will at this grand jar . . . and listen to me tale of why we traveled this far.

 

            Sanely pause and wait fer her to say yay . . . then take her inside and make Moonclaw pay.

 

            Long ago me vengeance ballooned when me Captain had me marooned. Me ex-Captain I ought to make clear, yer buried father ye hold so dear.

 

            Oh, I was privy to Moonclaw’s orders. Me mind was ready in me dimmed quarters. Fer ye see I am no fool beneath. Me radar is sharp like tigers’ teeth. Yer father sent Hookstorm to make me pay. But I smelled his foulness a sea away. His odor was of old sweat and grog--a stench that seemed to frighten the fog. With each step he took . . . I sharpened me hook and readied me sword and pointed it high to me pirate lord.  

 

            And yet after me thrust, me heave, and me slash to his cage came me bust, me leave, and me rash of me rage. Defeated and doomed I was tossed overboard while the ship’s jolly roger whipped and soared.

 

             Distant brigantine me crew cackled. Suffocating swells me wrists were shackled. Sank into the locker me mind darkened. Canons from above me ears hearkened. Mutiny and the chain me body descended. Vindictively vowed revenge me wrath pretended. There she swallowed me arms stretched farther. There she followed her ancient charter. Headed fer the locker’s deep me deadlights shut. Forever wounded me heart was cruelly cut.

 

            But then fury filled me . . . and I swam like a passionate porpoise, remembering the night before when I read ‘Claw’s corpus.

 

            Putrid Shadow me thumb caught in his ploy. Crumbs I gave to that swab of a boy. Covet Star me forever flower. Locked is she in Greed Pirate Tower. A flirtatious gesture me parrot saw, and yet uncertainty sticks in me craw. Pirate lord I need to take action. Indecision could fuel a faction. Do I punish permanently or dare disbelieve? Nay! Off ye grimly go Shadow on the morrow’s eve.

 

            Arrived at an island I crawled ashore. Parched and famished I couldn’t take much more. The dreaded black spot I knew of that place--the island of bones and nary a face. Each search for water I thought I was followed by mad mirages in which they wallowed.

 

            Bounded by a chain, bounded by a gesture, and bounded by an island . . . oh how it fought to fester. But he who is strong as I with such a tale inside this jar performed fer his lord watching from afar. Fer if I had stitched me pride with shame under the lord of fare be well . . . well, a keelhauling would’ve been much too tough to quell.

 

            Alas avast was exclaimed from the misery of me mind, fer me forbidding island's sounds seemed torturously timed. I said, ‘Ahoy there! Me ears hear ye next to that tree. Shadow is me name. Here how've you come to be? Ahoy I say! Ye savvy, or has me mind gone daffy? If ye wish to see tonight’s moonlight, ye best speak. Where on this graveyard is water me body’s weak? Oh! Forgive me. Yer skull and bones cannot speak I see. But yer treasure in yer demise does speak to me. Great golden glisten this jar is a jewel! Exchanged hands I’m sure in many a duel. But till and beyond death never will it leave me chained hands, fer me revenge against ‘Claw is as hot as these sands.’

 

            “Me rehearsing is over,” I said. “I’m finally here. Time fer me visit to give her the ghost to fear.”

 

            Knock! Knock! Knock!

 

            “Honey,” the woman said, “Is there any candy at the door?”

 

            “I think we’re all out,” the man said. “Might need to go to the store.”

 

            “Sure. I’ll swing by the market after I pick up Star. And ‘cause she’s been good she can eat treats in the car.

 

            My . . . it got cold. Better go back in and get a coat. While I’m at it I’ll grab Star’s toy Hallow pirate boat.”