My Damage

the impotent rage of being disabled.

I despise
with a white-hot hate, the robust, the whole
the un-damaged
I envy their four functional limbs
their effortlessness
The grace of their movement
perfect and painless
All soft steps and swaying limbs
synapses firing
I hate every snap, every crackle, every pop.
f**k you
f**k you and your neuro perfection
your living and vigorous tissues
your unobstructed pathways
the rythmic symetry of your stride
wah-chicka-wah-chicka
each step in cadence, a porn movie soundtrack.
You go on with your bad selves,
Walk walk walk
Walk yourselves silly
Throw in a couple cartwheels for good measure
And nevermind me,
I’ll just be Over here
Typing poetry
One-handed

Author's Note

i am not a poet, forgive my obliteration of the form.

Reviews

[Collette]

This is an interesting topic that I don't think I've ever encountered...it reminds me of the book "Stuck In Neutral'...As far as critcism goes, there is nothing I would do to this piece. It is perfect as is...very solid indeed. I think you're a fine poet. I really dig these lines;
I hate every snap, every crackle, every pop.
f**k you
f**k you and your neuro perfection
your living and vigorous tissues
your unobstructed pathways
the perfect rythym of your walk
wah-chicka-wah-chicka

Excellent mixing some humor into the seriousness of the situation. Kudos, my friend. Thank you for sharing.

[Stephanie]

I think you're a great poet! This was so full of hit-you-in-the-face emotion. I love how you describe the people's walking as "wah-chicka-wah-chicka". There's great imagery in this and I don't think you obliterated anything. I really enjoyed it. Amazing write :)

[Ian]

Awesome write!

My favorite lines were:

"I hate every snap, every crackle, every pop.
f**k you
f**k you and your neuro perfection
your living and vigorous tissues
your unobstructed pathways"

It has lots of emotion...
Great poem!

[Hedra Helix]

not a poet, pffff. Perfect rhythm man, more so witty rhythm, balanced out with witty word and meaning.
Liar;)
ok now I will go read a story.

[R J Askew]

Well y'poem cartwheels along with a certain cha-cha!

[Raef C. Boylan]

Pure frustration and bitterness, turned into something amazing.
The narrative voice of this is excellent: humour, attitude, shrewd observation, anger...you've conveyed the emotive spectrum well.

I think you are a poet. This is a great piece.
The rhythm is flawless, the rhyming subtle enough to not be distracting and also to help carry the flow.

Solid, no-hesitation breakout of fury.
You go on with your bad self and get some more hot s**t like this written.

Thanks for posting it.

[justjenn_2u]

You have a right to your feelings, and animosoty is clear here. And I am sure the worst thing a person can say is "I know how you feel". This is a very cliche' statement. I can only say you must have a lot of strength - inner and outer - through living with a challenge.

[Little Mouse]

Review caveat: I write long reviews sometimes and I've succumbed to this so I don't think I should give reviews with caveats.

Form, smorm�who cares when you got rhythm (part of form I guess). Surely I plan to study "form" someday but hope to resist conforming. Your poetry conveys quite well. Smart/concise/emotional/real/memorable/gripping...what more is needed?

It is a good reminder not to take things for granted and carthartic for you I assume. (I mean cathartic, did you know in addition to meaning emotionally purging that word also means: an agent for evacuating the bowels� but that should really be saved for another review.)

So, when the dentist screwed me up I forgot how to hold my teeth, an automatic thing that nobody could tell me how it should feel (not even the specialist, very frustrating and painful); because nobody really pays attention, especially not while they are running around spinning out cartwheels.

For what it is worth, I placed both hands on the keyboard and starting typing the word "disabled". Here's what came out: 'il'. Who cares right/ But here's what happened:

When I placed both hands on the keyboard and didn't move my left-hand, but "knew" I could, I felt the impulse to move overriding the impulse to not move. But once I did this long enough (it only took a word or two) I succumbed to "not moving" and was already working around it, felt no impulse, and wanted to stop. Made me think of "The Secret" thing, power of positive thinking. Now if only that had worked when I needed the back handspring to make college cheering (and had not hit my head repeatedly enhancing my pre-existing condition : ) . � Did that just annoy that crap out of you? It is either brilliant, common textbook therapy, or highly annoying� should I change my profession?

The cartwheel line was my favorite�a nicely placed hint of humor while enhancing the feeling of exasperation.
-:3 )~~~

[Celtic Cat]

I whole-heartedly disagree with your author's note. This is a wonderful expressive conversion of words which cannot be anything but poetry. I can feel your pain in this, it is amazing how we take things for granted, until smacked upside the head with reality. My cousin is in a wheelchair from a hand gliding accident....but he's the most exuberant cousin I met over there (England). He had hand glided for 12 years and as for his permanent chair...he says..."well, I haven't done 12 years in this yet" with not so much as a hint of rage. As for my man, who was rear-ended at a stand still from a customs cop doing 70mph into the off ramp, he's far more grumbly about his new limitations. A whole lot of disc issues, never ending pain, and for a few weeks of each month he gets enough meds to sleep. He's angry and hateful....only wishes to be the way he was. Sorry for your limitations....I couldn't even imagine being there...if I hadn't read your piece that is.
Your words sucked me in from the first line and held me captive to the last. Some good lines in here and again, I say, this IS poetry. Good work!! Peace~~

[steve]

The mind can be such a creative thing...style is what you are what you make it and it takes your style to add to style....I liked it bud! Thanks for sharing, I will check more of your stuff.