The Hound of Hells Lake

A story of a ghostly dog from Scotland. Operation Restoration has begun!!!

The Hound of Hells Lake

 

Loch Hourne, where the ghost dogs are said to be...
====================================

Barking from its rocky shore
At sailors passing by
Sometimes at the death of day
Sometimes under a noontime sky
The black dog and her starving pups
Haunt this area the locals tell
That’s known to all as Loch Hourn
Otherwise the Lake of Hell

This remote Scottish area
Would make a great landscape
Was said for a thousand years to be
Home for the creature that can change shape
That it desired itself to do
It would form for those to see
That it would lure to their death
It was called the Kelpie!

And among its shadowy waters
That sometimes are covered by dense clouds and fogs.
There lies a landmass in the middle
Knows as the Isle of the Wild Dogs.
And on dark and stormy nights
Its not just the wind... the locals know
But the dark howling of the dogs who died
Some ninety years ago!

A son to hunt rabbits went
Donald Cameron and his pet
That was due to have puppies son
To hunt together out they set.
After sometime the dog got lost
As Cameron cursed his luck
His dog in a cave he found
That had collapsed – the dog was now stuck!

Though he tried, to save he failed
And so back home he went
For till his faithful dog was freed
He would not rest content
But storms were blowing stronger that day
And held for many more
And the Cameron boys were thwarted
Each time the storm cast them back to mainland shore.

The Great War was now raging
And young Cameron got the call
And the morning he left he was his dog
Had freed itself from the rockfall
And it stood on its shoreline
Looking at its master and friend
Who by cruelty and mankind
His country to war him did send

And when to war the boy had gone
His brothers tried some more
The stormy waters for to cross
And reach the islands shore
The dog had her pups since then
Though food was in scarce supply
And temper and trust she had not for them
And to attack she was not shy.

On a spring evening in 1915
As her half grown pups around her played
She sat upon a shoreline rock
And quite a sight she made
As the sun sank behind the ocean
Telling end of day to beast, to man and fowl
Her head she threw back to the sky
And let an eerie high pitched howl,…

All that long night she could be heard
Crying to the black black sky
Next morning on the shore was found
Her corpse… for she did die!
Some time later the word came
That on that very day
Her master died at war in Europe
Round the time she began to bay.

Her pups ruled the island as their own
Attacked those who on it did land
Including an unfortunate yachtsman
Who nearly lost his like, not only his hand!
The men folk from the village
To organize themselves set out
And after some days were happy
That the wild pack was wiped out.

Some said that still a dog was seen
By the shoreline, crying to the sky
Across the loch from where it came
In distant days gone by…
In April 1930, a shepherd there slept
With flock and dog for the night
And, to the baying of a pack, he rose to check
But nothing of them was in sight.

The flock were grazing peaceful
Normal all did appear
Only the whimpering terror of his own dog
Gave substance to his fear
In time the island was sold
By major Lewis O’ Conner it was bought
His son Kevin went to the isle to see
Though locals told him that not he aught.

Shortly after he landed
It is told by other men
Came barking loud and a cry for help
Kevin was never seen again.
The Major’s men through the island wildly searched
But nothing found at all
Of man or dog, that was ever there
No matter where they looked or did call.

As the search boats back to the mainland went
One constable claimed to see
A Labrador black upon a rock
Looking out at them on the sea.
So rapidly back they returned
And tracker dogs from the mainland they brought
The mysterious creature had disappeared.
They found not what they sought.

There are people to this very day
Who to the isle won’t go
For they of the tragedy
And of the stories know.
Should you dear reader be so bold
As your way there to make
Steer clear of the Isle of the Wild Dogs
On Loch Hourne, in English: Hells Lake!

Author's Note

Changed title as suggested by reviewers!!!

Reviews

[J.e. Doherty]

I had a read of this and I have to say, the story and the imagery you have created are really good. Call it "Hells Lake" and I have no problems with this at all. It is rich and spooky, The rhyme scheme for a ballad is typically abab or abcb so yours is fine, sharp and constant. The poem tells a rollicking yarn but calling it "The Ballad of Hells Lake" poses a few concerns.

Ballads are usually meant to be sung or recited in musical form. Typical ballad meter is a first and third line with four stresses (iambic tetrameter) and then a second and fourth line with three stresses(iambic trimeter), the metre of this is off for a Ballad.

The first stanza is (4)-(3)-(3)-(4)-(4)-(4 & a half)-(4)-(3) stresses
The second is (3)-(3)-(4)-(4)-(4)-(3)-(4)-(3) stresses
The third is (3)-(5)-(4)-(4)-(4)-(4)-(4& a half)-(3) stresses

And so on...

So, as a poem it is great but if you want it to be a ballad pick your favourite stanza and try and work the rhythm of the other stanzas to match it. (It doesn't have to be (4)-(3)-(4)-(3) rhythm - thats just the typical as long as you stick to the rhythm throughout.

I have just posted a ballad I wrote long ago called "The Wanderer" If you are interested, check out the metre in it. The refrain is not (4)-(3)-(4)-(3) but the verses are.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'The Hound of Hells Lake'
Tomas O Carthaigh,
This long and detailed story had to take some time to construct for it does flow on and have enough detail for myself the reader to be able to track it's content. To read something which keeps the attention is always so nice! I love to start way back to beginning of someone's writing submissions. This was really enjoyable to read.
Blessings,
Kathy

[Richard🖌]

An amazingly captivating work, Tomás, that sweeps the reader up into its spell, as excellently-rendered poetry tends to.
Considering the immensity of this piece, it seems trivial, but I learned somewhere that a "kelpie" is a watery spirit that takes the form of a horse.
Ah, but whatever, I thoroughly enjoyed this amazing work, though, it lacks in punctuation and poetic voice in places, loses rhythm, and some of the lines are too drawn-out to flow with the rest; everything can be easily addressed and sorted, with a wee bit of attention and care (needs an apostrophe in "Hell's" in your title). If you would like more specifics on or help in addressing the needed issues, please, let me know.

All-in-all, I think this is quite the virtual epic masterpiece, Tomás, and I gratefully thank you for sharing it with us … blessings, My Talented Friend! ⁓ Richard


87/100

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Stanza 3 Line 4--"Known" as the Isle of Wild Dogs.
Stanza 4 Line 3--That was due to have puppies "soon"
Stanza 10 Line 4--Who nearly lost his "life," not only his hand!

I loved this very visual poem! The story was quite unique and captivating!! So far as form, if it feels good do it; this feels good!!!

[Sarah]

This is undoubtedly an interesting poem. I've never read anything about ghost dogs before. =) I liked the rhyme a lot, although in quite a few places the meter was off. It's sometimes better if you read it outloud, then you can hear where it doesn't fit. (: Regardless, I loved the story that was told & how you flashed back to the origin of a local ghost story. Very nice. =)

[Gandré]

Very pretty, my new favorite of yours, super craftsman and mesmerizing magician here you were.

[L.G. Knight]

this is an awesome story...really well done! Thanks for entering it in my contest it makes a great addition to "Versed in Ghosts"...=)

~Frances~

[Emily B]

An amazing story!

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A wonderful write, cleaverly written and great flow. A very enjoyable piece!!!

[Ashton]

Love it. It's definitely an older style of writing...reminded me of British literature classes reading things like Beowulf. Your flow was amazing, your use of the language was great. Your imagery was good. Great read!

[desertraven]

you are an amazing story teller! This is fantastic! Prize worthy in my book.
Thank you for sharing!
Sandra :D