The Farmers Spirit Rues The Advent of Machinery

A farmers spirit looks on machinery at work in anger.

Hand me a scythe, some time, and a field of grass

And I in my own heaven I shall be

With none, but the birds and bussing insects

And crawling worms as my company.

 

Hand me a scythe, some time, and a field of grass

And leave me there, my days work to do

And I the farmer of old will be in my paradise

Alone in the playground I once knew.

 

Today, all it is done by machine

To get it done as quick as you can

No longer is it cut by swish of scythe

No longer is it cut by mere man...

Reviews

[Gandré]

uhmm... you asked me to review this poem. I would not freely write a review on it. let me tell you this: you wrote better poems than this, for I know you are rhythm and rhyme perfectionist and this poem has several "errors", by not holding the rhyme scheme, by using trivial wording (I mean how smart are we using paradise and bring it together with a farmer, the effect is - it is artificial and not honest, as soon I have the feeling that the poem is not written from heart, not from experience of a certain feeling, I lose interest. Well, that's me, just me, others might adore it). I don't particularly like the passive observer view-poems, I mean, how can we enter mind of someone else and write, "I the farmer of old will be in my paradise.." How can we jump into someone else's mind; this is kinda fashionalism or something? Also, to use "paradise" is cliché. The first stanza seems to be honest, in the sense - you feel it and I can feel your feeling, kind of, I stay with the poem. You have there this repetition so I thougth, "aha, this is going to be a rondeau or something", but no, it was not. To repeat the line - was not accurate, was not vivid and not original at all. And why is the last line of the 2nd stanza in simple past? Is he - not in his playground like in the first stanza? You made the mistake of changing the tempus, in poems this is a deadly serious mistake, where JUST EVERY WORD AND EVERY SORT OF PUNCTUATION COUNTS, it just needs to be accurate.. The third stanza: you say "today, all it is done by machine", but no, I disagree: it is farmer's choice to use machines or hands or his ox, if you like. Also, there is no conclusion on the end of this poem: I mean, what does it mean, "no longer is it cut by swish of scythe" - it is too week to end the poem by these lines. I wished something haunting, as you have done so often, in your previous poems. I think, you have seen this picture and then you thought, you write a poem. But I'd rather to have a feeling: you wrote a poem - and you looked for a picture to accompany it. And that's why I consider this poem as not a brilliant poem. Yet, positive is already - that you don't write about misery, this poem would not make me depressed.. That's a good sign, depressing poems I find horrible, yet this is just my opinion..What I liked was the alliteration - - swish of scythe, nice.

[Tate Morgan]

I think Laura incorrect on so many fronts here.I love the simplicity that speaks to every man

[Greg the Bard]

I cannot add to an already over worked review. Let me say being a farmer that the total package never takes away from the good I do as a farmer. You cannot take away the land from the man regardless of how he works it. I've read many of your works in the past and this one just doesn't live up to that standard. Afterall you set that standard. Still I like the flow and the images. Good job.

[Edgar A Stonehill]

The words in the poem are pleasant, and by the end I also want to pick up a scythe. It succeeds as a romanticism of the past, one that over looks the physical sacrifice and emotional suffering of farming this way.

[Desert Dreamer]

I absolutely love this poem, for all the ideas that have sprung into my head since reading it. I think this is the solution to all our current problems in the world, caused by machinery, the solution is to go back to the ways of our ancestors. In this way there will be jobs for all and less need for oil... Thank you for sharing your poem, I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Holly O'Brien]

very good poem...i always like them, short, sweet and full of meaning...just like this :)....it does seem like technology is taking over ....i mean it's a big help but it also seems to take out some of the nature stored within us...great poem

[Gandré]

Answering Tomas:

But.. say, you publish this poem in a literary magazine... and there is NO explanation. The poem has to speak for itself, that's why I stopped to explain my poems, I rarely do, why should I. It is, (in my opinion) useless to lead the reader somewhere where I want him to be... because he has to find his own meaning - or even not, an unbiased approach I find wishful. And glad you consider this - not as a sort of attack - because it certainly was not meant so. LOL I'm going to read your article now.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Wow... what a review Lara!!! lol

I take on board your criticisms of it, and its not one of my best pieces. However, all poems cant be Wordsworth!!! The first verse and lines have been swimming in my head for some time, and this is the first concrete expansion on it, which will be revised.

It is a poem more of the Irish peasent poet tradition - where poetry was composed on the go in cottages during "seisuns", and as can be expected dont always meet the depth that more formal poetry can achieve.

Yes, a farmer today can choose to use scythe or machine, but as a rule the machine wins, unless the farm is a mere hobby, it must be machine to make it viable.

The poem is meant to be an "Aisling" poem, but with a twist - in the traditional "aisling", the personification is Ireland as a woman, rueing the modernisation that is not always to the betterment of her children. Here, it is a man, old and weary, and the scythe is a metaphor for the old systems of self reliance and independence and neutrality, as opposed to the modern ways of high finance, interdependence and alliance.

The poem needs some work and Ill take your feedback into account!!!