King Jon the Good

The most virtuous ruler that ever existed comes across its worst enemy.

KING Jon “the Merciful” is known for his mercy. He is strong, he is brave, but he is merciful. With the golden lion on his shield he ordered the pillaging of a foreign city and the arrest of up to a thousand peasants. In his mercy, only the men were slaughtered.

    King Jon “the Chivalrous” is known for his principles. He is strong, he is brave, but he is chivalrous. After imprisoning his mother, he cancelled her execution as mother’s day fell that same Sunday. She was then executed on Monday.

King Jon “the Generous” is known for his goodwill. He is strong, he is brave, but he is generous. He went out of his way to invest on better roads for his farmers to get to work safer and faster. After much embarrassment, he allowed the delighted peasants to thank him by paying more taxes and working double.

King Jon “the Humble” is known for his humility. He is strong, he is brave, but he is humble. He is depicted bowing to God in one of the paintings of the royal palace, and the golden plaque on his golden statue reads: “For the people”. The statue was commissioned by him and can be found by allowed classes on the plaza bearing his name.

    One day, morning and noon went by without any of the servants or slaves seeing him. This was strange, the King had missed his morning slave lashing session. Then at noon, he did not attend the daily animal slaughters in the arena that had excited him so much the days before. In the afternoon the King’s favourite servant went up to to see if he was O.K., slowly half-opening the door he saw the King wide awake, pondering deeply. The King asked the servant to come in and close the door. 

“Monsieur” the King said, with a judicious voice “A strange feeling came to me last evening, one I had never felt before.”

“My Liege!” said the minion “Are you ill? Should I call for�"”

“No, monsieur, ‘tis a feeling in my heart, it started yesterday after that nefarious madwoman came to the court, and I still carry it. It has taken away my sleep and peace of mind!” 

“Your Highness, what madman? The ragged hag that spoke nonsense? She has been disposed of my Liege, what of it troubles you even now?” 

To this the King answered with a cringe. There had indeed happened a strange occurrence in the King’s court the day before. A most wicked, heinous, abhorrent woman had exclaimed very villainous words at the royal.

It had been a normal day before it happened. A crowd gathered outside the royal palace chanting the King’s name. He came out of his room and blessed them from his terrace. Then he walked down to the throne room and found his whole court waiting for him. After they all bowed to him, he sat on the throne. A dozen monks, merchants and nobles came and went asking for favors, money or a blessing, but lastly, a peasant woman dressed in rags walked feebly towards the King and knelt.

“Your Majesty” said the peasant after standing up. She seemed to be about to cry “I need your help, my family’s coffers are empty. We cannot sustain the village anymore.”

    The peasant went into more detail and the King pondered on his seat. After much thinking and a long silence, the King clapped his hands and smiled. “I know what to do!” he said, as if he was pregnant. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about money any more. I shall take all the debt you owe, along with all the income you gain. You shall work for me directly. I know, I know.. ‘tis too much. But you need not worry, you may thank me later by working hard and for long. How’s that?”

    The peasant eyes started pouring tears. In desperation she looked up and said: “No! I do not want to work for you, I want my village back! The only reason our coffers are empty is because of your protection. We didn’t need protection! We were not being raided and our local guard took care of petty crime. Yet you forced us into paying gold we did not have for ‘protection’. You do not care of course, you are evil! You lie you steal and you destroy! You are not good. You… you are King Jon the Sinner!”

The King’s face twisted. The women gave a collective gasp. The men jumped out of their seats violently. 

“Yes! That’s right! Not the chivalrous nor the humble, those are but name your arselickers call you, were I am from we say it like we see it: King Jon the Unholy!”

The King was perplexed at those words. Never had he heard such nonsense before. He ordered his knights to stand down and sheath their swords. The King looked at the peasant woman with eyes of a scared child. He looked around at his court trying to read any agreement in their faces. Then he looked inquisitively at the head Chaplain, the head Chaplain remained silent. The King turned to the peasant once more. he spoke as if to an insolent child.

“Sinner! Unholy! Me? Who after considering that Sunday is not a day for work but for worship, decided to take Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off from work too, for worship?

“Me? Who despite the capacity to do otherwise, only indulge on outlandish feasts on cloudy days, hot afternoons and full moon nights?

“Me? Who out of the thousands of maids in my kingdom, have only selected twenty-three to be my concubines?” He got up from the throne, and with his chin up announced:

“King Jon the Diligent, King Jon the Temperate, King Jon the Chaste, more like!”

At this the dancels, the men, the Chaplain and even the slaves �"the whole court�"  cheered and clapped. The peasant woman cried desperately: “Yes! You! Never has this kingdom known such misery, never have the people known such pain. King Jon the Tyrant, I say!”

In response, the Chaplain broke into a hearty laugh. Suddenly everyone was laughing as well, at the top of their lungs, at the peasant woman. Relieved, the King followed. With the advice of a doctor it was concluded that she suffered from lunacy, and the King sentenced her to death by burning on the spot. After the execution had happened, the King returned to his chambers and spent the rest of the evening there. 

The next day, these images came back to the Royal, whose laugh then had only been half honest. Haggard, tired and afraid he stayed up ruminating, but now his expression turned calm, reflective. He looked at the servant once more.

“It was like a burning hot wind disturbing my cool winter peace. It took me long to somewhat understand this feeling: It was doubt.

“I asked myself: could it be true that I had not been thoroughly good? Do my subjects refer to me by offensive names behind my back? Could I really be not-too-great. Could I really be… bad?”

The servant’s face was filled with hope. In his mind he saw the squalor in the streets, heard the mother’s cry, felt the orphan"s suffering. The King continued: “One by one all these questions came to my mind last night, and seized me with anxiety. In the darkest hour of the night your King pondered with sweat and anguish over them and came closer than he had ever been to answering them! And now I think I have monsieur, once and for all, answered them!”

Through tears of joy the servant said, “At last God blesses us! And what is it, my liege? What is the answer? Have you finally realized? Tell me, your Highness!”

“Yes! I have! Of course not! I am great not one bit evil. And I know I am right: for after all, surely they do not call me King Jon the Good for nothing!”

San Diego, California. 2019

Author's Note

First short story ever.