Confessing my Sins

A man gets ready for the apocalypse by confessing his sins, accompanied by his flute playing friend.

Confessing my sins

 

A man is sitting on a bench next to another man that is playing the flute. It is pouring down with rain.

 

Man: Hello there, my name is Steve. In this story the world is ending. The apocalypse. God, who we have discovered does actually exist, who would of guessed that right, amazing.

 

Flute: Several people actually-

 

Man: Anyway, so yeh the God, who does actually exist, has decided to move on to bigger things. Apparently he’s bored with this world, said he saw star wars actually, wanted to create that reality but cant commit to more than one universe. Yeh so, f**k you George Lucas, is all I have to say to that really. On the bright side of burning alive-

 

Flute: Informed to us by god as the method to our demise.

 

Man: -there is a supposed heaven. So this is my forgiveness of my sins, before the big man makes his decision. I would have gone to a church but as you can imagine the queue to those oh so holy doors, at this current time is not to my liking, and my atmospheric setting friend here feels the same way.  Did you bring the list?

 

(Flute man passes a list to the man.)

 

Man: Cheers.  And play something a little more appropriate; this beat is putting me on a downer, in more ways than one. 

 

(Flute man starts playing star wars theme tune)

 

Man: Ok, lets have a look at this then. (Reading) First I apologies for when I was seven and accidently made a racial comment about my schoolteacher. (Stop reading) I would claim I didn’t know any better, but apparently telling someone his or her foundation doesn’t match his or her skin tone is racist? But honestly the women looked like the f*****g joker, would of thought she wanted me to give her the heads up, but apparently not. Anyway, I’m sorry for that. (Scanning the list again) Ah ok, this ones good. (Reading) I’m sorry for that time me and my friend killed that cat with a golf cart. (Stop reading) I have no excuse for that actually, God I wish that hadn’t have happened. Oh well, it was an old cat. Moving on. (Scanning the list once again) Oh this is one from this fella over here, social anxiety you see, finds it hard to speak for himself. Isn’t that right mate? (Slamming him on the back)

 

(Flute man doesn’t respond)

 

Man: Ok then… (Reading)  F****n hell man, you have done some dark s**t. But yeh, flute man is sorry for all these things. F****n hell. Moving back to me now. Id like to apologies to Miss Stone, my next-door neighbor. I wasn’t aware it was a prize-winning cabbage, and I also wasn’t aware that bloke was your son. Doesn’t matter now though guess, B***h is probably dead. (Said halfheartedly) Anyway id love to sit here all day but I have place to be, people to say good-bye to. I will quickly, (he clumsily holds the list up to the camera). So yeh, I’m sorry for all of this s**t.  Ok bye.

 

(Screen turns black, however the flute carries on playing)

 

Man: Come on flute man, hurry the f**k up. I can’t wait all f*****g day, it’s the f*****g apocalypse.

Author's Note

This is a first draft of this screen play, so there are going to be several mistakes probably, and maybe a few repeated words. However what do you think of the concept, and please tell me if you did laugh, or if you found the jokes crude. Please, I am open to honest feed back.

Reviews

[kmpatrick]

I get the sense that you have the quirky sense of humor that goes with being a nerd. (Nerds unite!) I think that this is a good start, but I think that there needs to be a little bit more development. I'd love to see what this morphs into with a little bit more work poured into this. :-)

[T.Langham]

Thanks so much for the review. I fully intend to work on it, I was just really excited to get this idea out, and I rushed the end.
T.L