Valentine's Day

This is not about romance

Valentine’s Day

 

A man died today.

A hero, a good man passed today.

A genuine human with incredible humour and empathy.

A man who was kind to me, even when he didn’t know me.

St Valentine claimed a good person today.

 

 

Over the usual noise of a home I heard it.

Like a cartoon motor spitting and spatting.

It was only when I could hear the disjointed language I grew nervous.

I sat for a moment, I listened... I wish I’d reacted sooner.

 

 

When I crept down the stairs,

She was standing at the centre of the room both hands held to her head.

Like any child I enquired, but she wouldn’t answer.

Holding her mobile away she squeaked for my father

 

 

My heart felt heavy in my chest as I sat with her;

One arm over her and the other on her hand.

My father held her tight.

I remained strong.

I tried to remain strong.

 

 

Her face was swollen,

Her eyes were red with questions.

I tried to avoid her eye - the other concealed by a warm shoulder.

I tried to avoid my father’s eyes.

I tried to help.

But one can only feel powerless combating grief.

So I stood.

I didn’t know what else to do

 

I walked to the kitchen.

For a static moment the house was silent.

Even the cats only stared.

Thinking of my own future only made my body shake - I was disgusted by this selfishness

 

But, I did not cry.

For my mum’s sake.

Instead I questioned…

Why does god take the nicest and bravest?

Why did god take my uncle?

And he took a man I barely knew and I couldn’t contain myself.

Pacing back and forth pondering the future:

Dying, Loving, Living…

And ultimately being forgotten.

I am scared.

I am scared for him.

What do I do?

What can anyone do?