High heels!

I looked at the Worship leader again and again that Sunday morning. I had just completed my duty as the ‘speaker secretary’ and ensured everything pertaining to sound was in order. But, ‘wait o’, I said to myself from the back where I stood, ‘there’s something odd about this sister’.

‘Yes, but she’s looking taller than usual. I still saw her yesterday at rehearsals na, could she have sprouted overnight?’ My curiosity got the better of me, and I moved to the front as if I wanted to check the sound engine.

I should have known.

She had been “brought up higher” by‘’reinforcements’’ attached to her feet of course. I pouted and then gathered myself together for the worship session. *smiles.

Over time, I have noticed that our sisters nowadays have developed a penchant for heels. Did I say sisters? Even our mommys too.

I cast my mind back to some few years ago when I was fresh from leaving secondary school and I newly joined my church’s choir.

The church and the house then, were within walking distance.

I was always looking like one perfect gentleman in my 2-piece suit and usually carried myself as such. I would hold my folder containing my Sunday materials in my left hand and pocket the other one.

Then, Mommy joined the bandwagon of heel-wearers.

‘What concern me? If you like, wear 100 inches, me too, I’m feeling gaga in my own suit.’

But trouble sleep, yanga go wake am.

Mommy would say, ‘’oko mi, I can’t walk with this heels o, shey you will help me carry this nylon containing it while I wear a flat slippers till we get to church?

‘Geez! Ho mai Gawd’

Oh oh! Why does mommy like doing this to me, ehn, in my fine suit, how would I be carrying ‘’nylon bag’’, no matter how ‘’fancy’’ it looked. Chai, she want to ‘’spoil my swag’’

I just couldn’t put it together. Why couldn’t she just wear one type of footwear sef? Even at church, before the service ends, she would have removed the heels because she can’t use it to dance, she would then put it in her ‘’fancy nylon bag’’ again, waiting for me for the short trip home.

I couldn’t complain then, because I knew the answer already ‘Ehen, you have forgotten that you want this and that abi,’ and then she would go on and on for a long time, reeling a long list of items she wanted to get for me, and I was complaining over a small thing. God bless her for me though.

I had to just silently do her bidding in ‘’pains’’ each time she needed to wear heels until the time when school came calling.

Another sister in school as well, I remembered the Sunday I had to walk with her from fellowship back to the hostel. A journey that should take me just ten minutes ended up as thirty minutes.

Why?

She had ”only-God-knows-how-many-inches-long” heels on and she didn’t bring flat slippers that day. So, we were just dragging and dragging till we arrived the hostel. We even had to rest at a point. #sighs

Apart from walking, the high heels doesn’t make them to dance well. They would just stay on one point shaking their heads. They dare not wriggle, or else the result could cause the praise leader to change the song he/she is singing to ‘the walls of Jericho fell down flat, the people of God were praising the Lord, the walls of Jericho fell down flat.’

I have come across many videos showing how heels can actually cause a lady to shame especially in public. I have always laughed myself to satisfaction. And for some other ladies too, they have gotten so used to heels that even when they are on flat footwears, they still move as if they’ve got the heels on.

But abeg o, before the ladies begin to crucify me, I didn’t want to write this initially, even when I had the idea, but when I saw the picture below I couldn’t resist the urge and I started typing away.

Laughing, but not loud though.

All the same, I can’t but appreciate God for creating all our them ‘’bright and beautiful’’. Even though they still put all their own ‘’additions’’.

I don’t know what else to write. I aff try. *Laughs