Time and Love

Time may run out. Love is eternal.

The waves tugged and pulled at the seashells

As your eyes twinkled with mischief, the bells

Around your-wait, no, not bells

Am I daydreaming again?

Good, let me daydream then!

Then again, it's no surprise that just like the waves

Which meet the shore, before parting again

We meet again this lifetime

Drawn irresistibly towards each other

Like vanilla and chocolate

But wait! Forget not

Our little strawberry

Born out of our love

Kissed by the Sun

Caressed by the Moon

And as dawn turns to dusk

And our bodies turn again to the Earth

We are pulled away again

Fret not, My Queen!

For we will meet again

Guided by our hearts (and love handles!)

Reviews

[dan]

Tks, This is a very nice write, employing vivid imagery to convey its message. Breaking in with a "Wait, am I daydreaming again?" is a nicely timed interruption to alter the course of the write. Nice technique. A very pleasant piece, well done! take care...dan

[Tks]

Dan, your visits are appreciated more than you know:) I can't thank you enough, my dear friend, for your kind words and constant encouragement. Will definitely review your newest writing pieces, looking forward to them!

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

that is very dulcet and sweet!

[B]

Amazing what time can do
for so many
and how these two are so connected
like nothing could tear them apart
it must be scary to feel this
its like seeing an angel and you are human
you cant help but hide
as the blood rushes to every part of your body
i think this is my favorite of all your work
i have read it twenty times now lol

[B]

This write is simply the most romantic
two to always be
back and forth
and the seed of love

so gorgeous

[Shane Mohamed]

It is a good love poem, but to be honest with you, and this isn't to slam you down; I think you could do better, judging from the previous poem that I've review before. This piece is fair, but I can't feel true passion in it. I was searching for something with zest and heat. Just didn't do it for me.

[Roshan Nair]

Like a classic love song, loved it. great write man... I liked the way you draw each scene.. its so sensitive and tender.. with a (strange sense) of gravity towards the other character. Great work. cheers :)

[The StoryTeller]

I love this! I love the imagery in the last few lines, and I love the abrupt change, "Wait, am I daydreaming again?" That caught me of guard. XD Anyways, I think that yes, even if we die, we have all eternity. We are still together, even in death, even in life, even in time, even in infinity. Great write.

[....................]

Love it timeless and eternal. A beautiful sentiment and cleverly written with beautiful images.

[Frank]

good job tks

good job

good job

[BlackNightshade]

This was beautiful! I love the comparisons and similes, how thoughts cut in and out... Daydreams hopes and wishes! Love is an intricate thing, and so is the mind... Great work! :)

[AprilRN1210]

I enjoyed the deep, romantic, powerful message of this beautiful write. The imagery is dreamy and has my imagination riding the waves.. If I could offer one suggestion, it would be to cut out a little of the unnecessary repetition between lines and condense some of the wording..


an example of this...
"Good, let me daydream then!
Then again, it's no surprise that just like the waves
Which meet the shore, before parting again"........ would reword this to cut out on ("then" & "again", which you used twice)....

otherwise this is very nice.. well done.. first piece of yours that I have read and I really enjoyed..

[Tks]

Hi April, thank you for dropping by:) was reading and enjoying some of your recent writing pieces, do send me read requests soon! I appreciate how you enjoyed the poem, it feels so good when someone like yourself tells me they were taken on a little adventure by my poem:) Have an awesome day ahead, cheers to being friends!

[AprilRN1210]

I always try to check out the work of those who send me a "friend request" before I accept them. It helps get to know someone by reading them... thank you, I wish you the same..... and you are more than welcome, it was my pleasure.