Ballad of the Broken Man

 

Sick with discontent

Like his body declared mutiny

On his mind, a broken man

With broken promises of a thin assault

He walks sort of off center

This walking dead gunslinger

No enemies but his own demons

 

Ghostly hands lift to find themselves

Interlocked, a prayer to the gods

Or anyone who may be listening

Candles dancing here and there

Cast shadows of snake pits on the walls

Apparitions and hellish-beasts

Appear from unfolded metal chairs

 

He pours a glass, just something to dull the pain

But he knows the feelings will remain

Left inside his head to battle

The ghosts and ghouls and evil spirits

From a lifetime of regrettable failures

Disjointed words ooze and squeak, from

Unused lips no one left to hear him speak

 

Just an empty man in this empty room

Dust and cobwebs clog the windows

Coals glow from a reticent fire

Abated flames all but extinguished

A sliver of light from a full moon

Finds him like the hang man’s noose

As he chokes on their thoughts and memories

Reviews

[Nobody.]

Nice...love the western outlaw concept that peeps through the well-written miseries.....gives it flavor. kick a*s piece.
Cheers!

[TheElfPrincess]

Good flow, nice word use and very relatable. It was easy read and a very good poem. I enjoyed reading it. Well done.

[kdpgrahi]

A good flow. I like the theme.

[Taylor Williams]

Remarkable, i like the flow and tone of it and i easily relate to the subject. great work

[ScaryTrees]

this is cool
i really enjoy the gunslinger concept
lots of cool imagery like

"he walks sort of off center" really helps paint the picture
you may be able to tweak here and there to help flow, but overall a nice dark write!

[Lily Mae]

I could feel him all the way through the write.. wow.. this is so deep, dark, and intense.. Great write.. excellent..x

[Complex Disaster]

Wow, it's so vivid to me. It's so sad and suspenseful, I loved every line.