Chapter 4

IV

It finally began to dawn on Amy as they arrived back at their house that this is their new beginning. A new chapter for their family. With a little one on the way this couldn't have happened at a better time. Although, Amy feels somehow saddened by this revelation. She thinks about Jeremy and how perfect this house would be for him. He never had to opportunity to play in his own backyard. Build and destroy and play. Her thoughts lead her back to the dining room where the boxes are stacked haphazardly. She looks for the box labeled “Jeremy” among the other identical brown cardboard bins, but it's nowhere to be found. Panicked, she tears through the mountain of boxes labeled “kitchen” and “fragile” looking for the one with the pictures of her son. Calvin comes in to packing material and Styrofoam peanuts thrown all over the room. Amy is crying on the floor, the weight of her thoughts finally too much to bear. Calvin sits down beside her and puts his arm around her shoulder.

“What's the matter, babe?”

“We lost his pictures. I can't find them anywhere.”

“Who Jeremy? I'm sure they are here somewhere. I mean look at this place it is a mess. I know the box is here somewhere.”

Calvin always knew the right thing to say, she thought. The house was a complete disaster area. The photos have to be around here.

Calvin stood up and put his hand out to Amy. She accepted and he picked her up off the floor and there swept her off her feet. He carried her to each room describing to her what it will look like when they are finally unpacked. He described the color of paint they were going to use the decorations they will need to pick up from Lowe's or Bed Bath and Beyond, or wherever people pick up those sort of things. Even though he was completely wrong about the remodeling, she has and always will have the last say in that matter, it made her smile because she knew that he felt the same way about this new house; this new start for them. They made their way to the bedroom. It has been a long and exhausting day for both of them and their pillows are calling. Amy shuts the light off and crawls into bed. She looks over at Calvin lying on his back with his arm covering his eyes. She rolls onto her side with her hand between her thighs and counts her blessings.

A dark abyss opens to speckled light scattered throughout; a sterile hospital room. Nurses crowding around a doctor playing catcher in the middle. Cries echoing off the four walls fall with an odd percussion. The room oozing with a malformation of birth. Black with reverberations and amnion. Amy awakens with a scream as the dream fades to black. Calvin jolts out of his slumber and turns to his wife.

“What is it? Are you okay? What's the matter?”

“Nothing, I just had a bad dream.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I'm alright it was just a nightmare. Go back to bed you have had a long day.”

Amy laid her head once again on the cool pillow. She tried to get back to sleep, but the dream kept creeping back like light down a darkened hallway. She had such a vivid recollection every time she closed her eyes as if a projector started up each time her eyelashes met.

She decided the best thing for her was to just get up and walk around. Maybe the cool night air will do her some good. She grabbed a cigarette from the stand near the door where Calvin kept his keys. She hadn't had a cigarette in years, but the urge claimed her tonight. They both share an occasional cigarette while out drinking, but neither were much of a smoker. She knew cigarettes were terrible especially with the pregnancy, but what harm would one do. Besides maybe it would calm her nerves enough to get back to sleep. The night folded around the house like some wicked origami. She sat on the porch staring at the moon as it hid behind the clouds like a child clinging to the skirt of her mother. She watched as the moon moved and contorted into the light in some dank, contaminated hospital operating room. Masked faces looking down on her. Screams echo through hollow corridors. Images move from nurse to doctor to nurse to darkened hallway walls. Lights and images dart through her vision like a satanic kaleidoscope. She suddenly snaps back to find herself on the porch sitting on an old wicker chair that she found at a flea market years ago. The moon staring down at her like a concerned parent.

In the morning Calvin awakes to a huge breakfast of eggs, toast, sausage, bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice, and homemade grits. His eyes as wide as his smile as he walks into the kitchen.

“Oh, my god honey, did you do all this?”

“No it was the breakfast fairy,” Amy said with a smile.

“This is incredible. What did I do to deserve this?”

“You worked so hard yesterday I just thought I would so you how much I appreciated it.”

“Aww, thank you so much babe,” said Calvin as he leaned in to give his wife a kiss.

She did not wan to tell him about the night she had. About the dreams. About the nightmares that kept her from getting any sleep at all. She just let it fall to the wayside and hopefully the memories of those nightmares would fall away too.