A World Without Color

For Creative Poetry Group.

White clouds I see in grey
A landscape of green and brown
    appears dark grey to me
A sky shining in shades of blue
     appears as dull as slate can be
Tears fall from my eyes
Washing away the colors of life
Blues of every shade we can dream
A landscape of many shades of green and yellow
    are all dull grey and so deeply shallow
It hurts to see the world devoid of life
    such as I am today
If I get down on my knees and pray
    will life return to me
Will the colors of life return to my sight
    will my soul at least be free of the grey
And free of the dull unending emotionless night

Reviews

[Jasmine]

Whilst I like the idea you are conveying, I don't feel this poem is as strong as some of your others that I've read.

Using "grey" and "appears" twice in the first three lines devalues their effect.
Also, the line "A landscape of many shades of green and yellow" breaks up the flow of the poem.
I feel perhaps the language you use could be more imaginative, too.

I'm sorry, I hope I don't offend you. Too often on here, reviews do not give helpful criticism. I'm trying to be honest, especially as I know the quality of material you write.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

This was a creative talented write that I enjoyed reading!

[KAREN]

Love the flow, and the use of color to express the emotions that pour in this poem!

[Ezekiel Silver]

Good poem. Very visual. Thankfully we don't live in a world like that!

[Black Cat Fever]

Sometimes a sort of tiredness takes over our lives and everything surely does seem dull and grey.

[reflectingus]

This is written such beautifully, and brings forward the point of how the world is, indeed, turning colorless. You have expressed your guilt and hope amazingly. Great job!!
"Tears fall from my eyes
Washing away the colors of life" - best part haha

[Poetic Beauty]

I love this poem. It is filled with emotions that we can relate to and the way you projected it was like stripping the world of its vibrant beauty.

[Wolf's Dark Song]

Like the contrast of the colors to describe pain and the desire to escape to life where there are all sorts of beautiful color.

[Star Wolf]

I really like this. Very creative and awesome!