CRIMSON TREAT

A brief tale of a vampire out to get his crimson treat.

  

     The vampire watched the mortal woman with hungry emotionless eyes. He was perched on the roof of a one level building that housed a ‘we make you bake’ pizza place and a tiny convenience store that mainly sold candy, cigarettes, alcohol and tickets to various state and local lottery games. He was motionless, so still he seemed more like a statue or mannequin than anything that was living. The mortal woman wasn’t visiting either of these establishments; she kept on walking, her dress boots clicking loudly on the sidewalk. Suddenly in motion the vampire followed her along the roof top until he came to the end. As he watched the woman his cold empty eyes took on a spark deep within him. A spark of blood lust, of blood hunger.

     The sun was setting, creating long shadows. The vampire moved to the opposite side of the building and stepped from the building’s roof top and drifted to the parking lot on the far side of the building. Here the shadows were deep and dark, effectively concealing him from any human eyes.  The sounds of the woman’s boots hitting the pavement as she continued along the sidewalk were loud to the vampire's ears. She was careless, not taking her safety seriously, which pleased him. He came around the side of the building and started following her, not making a sound as he moved up behind her. As he approached he took her scent deep into him. He took several deep breaths and sighed, her scent was salty sweet and so tasty.

     The vampire would be able to track her anywhere in the world now, no matter how large or small the city was. But he didn't need to, he would take her now. The mortal woman came to a crosswalk with a ‘no walk’ signal. The vampire glided along the sidewalk until he reached her. The cross light still said ‘no walk’ and the vampire came to a halt beside her. He turned his head to look her up and down and smiled. “Hello there.”

     She jumped and turned, looking at him, an annoyed expression on her face as she took him in. She arrogantly looked him up and down then looked at his face. How dare this man bother her, her expression clearly said. The vampire's yellow eyes met hers. The spark in them growing intense, as if a flame in them was coming to life. He kept his smile in place and watched her closely. She had been preparing in her mind a scathing and sarcastic comment but those remarks died before they were born. He saw the moment the fear came into her eyes. He saw her stiffen with that same fear. His terrifying eyes and menacing smile had done their work. He gloried once more at his power over these food animals.

     The cross light changed to ‘walk’ but she didn’t notice. She had looked a little too long into the vampire’s eyes and had fallen captive to him. Her free will was no longer hers. She was almost his now, rapidly becoming his helpless thrall..“Hello.” The vampire said again. “Take my hand.” He reached his hand out to her. Trembling now she placed her hand in his. She was warm, very human warm. Her human warm hand just about scalded his cold hand, his cold as the dead hand. The vampire hissed with the pain of it.

     She wanted to yank her hand out of his, his hand that felt like a dead person’s hand to her. But she couldn’t. She could not even speak, only fear the terror building in her as she realized she was helpless and no longer in command of her own body. She was effectively being held captive by him but she didn't really understand how. His vampire will had taken control of her mortal will. Looking into his cold hellish eyes she knew what he was. What he was was all there and plain to see. Vampire.

     “You’re coming along with me.” He led her across the street. After walking a couple city blocks they came to a public parking garage. He waved to the parking attendant as he went to his car. The sun was so far down that the many tall city buildings blocked out the sun causing it to look night dark in the artificial canyons below where the city streets were. These city streets were currently flooded with mortals on their way home after putting in a days work. But none of this mattered to the vampire. No humans paid them any attention. There was nothing unusual or noteworthy of a man and woman walking through a parking garage hand in hand. He unlocked his car and helped the woman into the front passenger seat. He got in the driver’s side, started up his car and drove out of the public parking garage.

     He drove out of the city into one of the neighborhoods. The woman sat rigid in her seat, her mind wanting to rebel but she was unable to do so. The vampire still had complete control of her will. He could smell her fear and panic and thought it something wonderful. Sweet and tasty like he was sure her blood would be. The vampire couldn’t get to his home fast enough. He fought the powerful and overwhelming impulse to pull his car over, park it at a curb and take her in the car.

     But he could wait, he was almost home now. Her scent was so intoxicating that it was making him nearly mad with his desire to take her. He pulled into his driveway. The distraction of her scent nearly caused him to drive his car into the closed garage door.. “F**k.” He muttered as he used his garage door opener with a shaky hand. The woman sat beside him unmoving, still lacking a will of her own. He drove his car into the garage and closed the door behind him with the little device. The vampire sighed with relief now that he was safely behind the walls of his home. Now he could have his treat that he’d picked up while out and about.

     He opened the car door, grabbed his treat by her arm and dragged her across the driver’s side of the car and out the door. He didn't care if she was hurt by this rough and uncaring treatment as she was banged into things with pointy edges. Her open mouth crying out silently gave him immense pleasure. She fell to the cold cement garage floor, her face scrunching up in her pain. He yanked her up to her feet, laughing at her. “Come on my sweet tasty treat.” The vampire said as he pulled her through the door that went from his garage into his house. He kept on going until he had her in his 2^nd floor bedroom. He shoved her down on the bed and stood there looking at her as she stared up at him knowing that she was going to die. The look in her eyes was one of pure terror and horrid resignation. The vampire relished the sight for several minutes before finally yanking her to her feet. “Take off your clothes.”

     She undressed. She could not fight him. In a couple minutes she stood naked before him. A nice, tasty, female body. Nice and curvy. He didn’t like them bony the way the media tried to brainwash everyone a woman was suppose to be. He bet most mortal men wanted women with flesh on their bodies, not bony and unhealthy looking ones. The vampire feasted on his treat with his eyes. When he couldn’t hold back any longer he struck.

     He had her on her back on the bed, his fangs embedded deep in her throat, gulping down her blood. She screamed but no sound came from her. She tried but could not fight for her life. She couldn't even struggle as her life was drained away. Her body would not respond to her demands. She was still his thrall, her will captive to him. She had no choice but to surrender to the vampire making her his meal. So tasty, so damn good, God this mortal is the best I’ve had in a long time. The vampire enjoyed his crimson treat to its fullest.

     Just before she died, just before her heart stopped fluttering in its weak attempt to keep the body alive, the vampire released his hold on her. That last moment she let out one wild scream and tried to pound him with her fists. But she was too weak. He laughed, enjoying her pitiful efforts. The vampire stared into her eyes and relished the sight of them going out, like two bright lights turning off when the electricity was disconnected from them. He smiled. He had stolen her life energy and taken it into his body to keep himself alive. He sighed in satisfaction. He'd finished it all, not leaving one drop of blood. He didn’t believe in wasting his food.

 

Reviews

[Coyote Song]

Wow, this is amazing and chilling. Knowing this vampire sees humans just as food or just a crimson (blood) treat is deeply disturbing. How helpless we humans are really. What could his soon to be treat do to saver herself from this perfect human predator. Nothing. This vampire isn't out falling in love or feeling guilty for hunting humans. He know what he is and doesn't regret it or feel sorry for his poor meals. No. Here is a true and real vampire, the perfect predator for he passes as human and no one thinking anything about him as he passes amongst them. I love your story here!

[Tina Kline]

Thanks much!

[NinjaPi]

I love the consept of this story and it has lots of potential but it is very choppy. It is hard to read with each sentence being its own paragraph. Also, when you use the main characters name too much it loses power and thus the character loses power. You capitalize bishop but not vampire yet you always use them together. Is Bishop his name or his title. If it is his name then you should not put vampire before it eveytime. If it is his title then you should capitalize the vampire as well. You spend a lot of senteces to tell us that she has no choice but to listen. We know that already, you don't need to repeat it so much. Try replacing the words with "against her will" or "dispite the scared look in her eyes" and such. This story has the potential to be really good, it just needs some tweeking.

[Sseoni]

It's been a while since I've read any of your work and I have to admit that I've missed it! I love how you write such great supernatural books and stories! Whenever I feel like reading something about vampires or werewolves, I always know who to come to!
I really liked this story! It was a nice, satisfying vampire tale! I wonder what it's like to be a vampire and having the power to control other people... That would be so cool! Anyways, great story! :D