Dancing Spiders

Small spiders
dangling from
the Douglas Fir tree
clinging to
 their almost invisible webs
with their spindly legs

they twirl in the wind
the sun sparkling
from the sticky strands

a pretty
yet horrifying sight

Reviews

[Aethereal]

This free verse poem was a delight to read in both its structure and imagery. It inspired me to write this rhyming gift poem version for you that uses some of your words and concepts and so you may keep this poem as your own. It's in /0/0/0 six syllable meter whereby / is an accent and 0 is a non-accent:



Spiders and Bugs

Spiders dance and dangle
down from a low branch tree
where their web threads spangle
luring each fly and flea.
Watching bugs entangle
in threads is sad to see.
As they buzz and wrangle,
I try to set 'em free.

[Tina Kline]

Thank you! And thanks for the poem Spiders and Bugs..very well done indeed. I enjoyed much the inspired poem you wrote!

[Traci]

I like the imagery in this piece, Tina. There is something fascinating about spiders (from a distance) especially their webs. This poem also may hold a deeper meaning as it is related to humans as well. Well done, my friend.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much!

[Sheila Kline]

Oh, you can keep the spiders right there twirling in their almost invisible webs - for me it is better for them to be unseen than near me......lol
The imagery you have created is clear enough for me to check to make sure one is not near me!!

[Tina Kline]

Thanks. I sure appreciate...!

[aria]

I like this a lot. I love the imagery you use here. I like the specific details. I don't think you need the last two lines but if you feel compelled to keep them, what about:

a pretty
horrifying
sight

By leaving off the "yet" and spacing it just a bit differently you get that same idea of it being both pretty and horrifying but it's a bit more subtle. It lets the images stand a bit more on their own without the reader being "told" what to make of them. It might more allow them to decide if the sight is beautiful or scary or both. Or at least presents it in a way that "stabs" a bit more. Just a thought. Great write, though, really.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

[Coyote Song]

Ah spiders, they are so creepy and frightful but the webs of some are very beautiful as this poem is. Very creative!

[Tina Kline]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

[Coyote Song]

:).........................

[Craig2591]

Leave it to you to describe something that I hate (spiders) and make them pretty.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

[Sami Khalil]

I like this write and its message and how it relates to our selves too...Thank you for sharing...:)

[Tina Kline]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Tina Kline]

I had one spider yesteday night walking over my shoulder, a big black one, I did forgot about it today, but your poem brings me right back, wow, such a good one! It's compatible with people and their behaviour. Some make their own webs, others can get trapped in it. A piece to think about, nicely done!

- Elisa

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much!

[Lily Mae]

They seem so fragile and yet they are so intact.. well written..xo :) I loved it..

[Tina Kline]

Thank you!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

horrifying because the wind might blow them out of the web...

sometimes people dangle in a web of naivety, of false sense of security...

and then that wind that is real life comes along and knocks us right out of the web to land on the ground and be trampled...

i saw a really nice allegory in this poem...

jacob