For the boy with the sunny smile

A funny boy with a sunny smile,
met a little girl in a pretty isle.
The girl was sad,with tears in her eyes,
the boy said "no worries!
I'll help you rise".
And he played pranks,
And naughty games,
The girl start gigling,
Forgetting her pains.
The grasses were green,
and the sky was blue
flowers were dancing,
and their friendship was true.
The girl was happy,
she has found her best friend,
she won't cry anymore,
on this friend she'd depend.
Days passed by,
their friendship grew,
it was smiles all the way,
with fightings few.
Then oneday as they were playing,
the girl noticed that the boy was'nt smiling.
she tried playing pranks,
she tried asking why,
but the boy wud'nt say,
He just wont reply.
He kept playing,
trying hard to smile,
pretending to be happy,
but his efforts were futile.
What would the girl do?
she seemed so lost...
she wanted her friend to smile,
Anyhow, at any cost.

When will the boy smile again?
When will he again play pranks?
Looking for a lost smile,
the little girl wonders.


 

Reviews

[Dillon Cotter]

creative, and very special, helping other with happiness. truly amazing =)

[Drow]

I like how you put into words how far people are willing to go to sacrifice their own happiness. The poem was really touching. Keep Writing!

[Orlando Murcia]

Beautiful poem
Thats all I have to say

Orlando M

[Indira]

The flow is good........the theme keeps my mind to think......very nice

[Jam]

Nicely said... but the last four lines ends abruptly creating a state of chaos in the readers mind... may be u can work on it (if u want). Over all its written well :)

Er... your first two lines rhyme, then you immediately switch to ABCB for more or less the rest of the poem besides the last four, which don't rhyme at all. Without the specific intent to shift the rhyme scheme I feel that it should be consistent throughout.

Then, you sort of left me hanging at the end. Does the girl pull the boy out of his slump, or does he never smile again? Maybe it was your intent not to tell (I've done something similar with my poem Life) but I don't feel right not knowing the answer to that.